Month: June 2011

Texts to the Wrong Number

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Last Monday I decided I didn’t feel like going to my pilates class.  I knew it was a bit rude to just not turn up and thought I should text Veronica, the instructor, to let her know I wasn’t coming.  I found her number in my phone (listed under Veronica), texted her and apologised; and was a little surprised that she didn’t reply, but soon forgot about it.

On Wednesday I was going to miss it again because I was taking Vindoo for his measles shot.  Again, I texted her to let her know I wouldn’t make it.  Again, there was no reply.  I was a bit worried that maybe she was pissed off as she only runs her classes if there’s a certain amount of people.

This Monday (day before yesterday), I texted again asking if the class was on and was there space for me.  I had checked that all my messages had been delivered, but thought maybe she had travelled for the summer (she is due to leave soon, but doesn’t know when exactly).  Needless to say, I got no reply.

Meanwhile, someone kept flashing me. No, no – not *that* kind of flashing!  Over here, when someone flashes you, they give you a missed call.  It’s very irritating, it’s usually so they save their own money and you spend yours calling them back.  Anyway, so someone kept flashing me – and I ignored it because I thought it was a particular person that I was trying to avoid.

Eventually, I got a text message from ‘the flasher’.  It said (word for word and yes, all in CAPS):

HLLO PLS I D’T NO U, MY NAME NO B VERONICA STOP DISTOPING ME WITH MESSAG, THANKS, FROM IFE.  GOOD DAY

I had been sending texts to the wrong number (which was reconfirmed when I found Veronica’s business card).

Oops.  Oh well…

Texting_2


 

The Gallery – My Weekend

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This weekend we went from visiting friends, to going to birthday parties, to going out for dinner and on to a club, to spending five hours at the temple on Sunday morning. 

And it rained and thundered. 

The whole time. 

We were lucky to have a roof over our heads and to be in a car while getting from place to place.

This picture I took is just a small insight into how a lot of people over here live. 

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Breast Wasn’t Best For Me

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Last week was National Breastfeeding Awareness week.  Many ladies blogged about their breastfeeding experiences – some good, some bad – and I enjoyed reading all their posts.  It took me a while to decide on whether I wanted to share my story…  Mostly because it’s such a ‘hot’ topic.  And also, to be honest, I didn’t want to be judged. 

Please know that if you breastfed your babies, or are still breastfeeding – I admire you and I will always support you.  But…

I didn’t breastfeed my baby.  There.  I said it.

I was prepared to.  I had bought nursing bras, breast pump, nursing pyjamas and tops, breastfeeding pillow, the lot.  I was scared.  I had heard so many horror stories from so many people and quite frankly, it terrified me.  I wasn’t too worried about what would happen if I couldn’t.  I’d switch to formula.  No problem.  Voicing that opened up a whole can of worms.  Hub and his brother were breastfed, so he was very keen that I nurse.  My in-laws were very keen that I breastfeed (and repeatedly said so).  My brother-in-law kept going on about how I must breastfeed.  And I started feeling a little stressed out.  It was too much pressure!  And the baby wasn’t even born yet and I was still worrying about the birth!  I wasn’t even sure if I would actually *be able* to due to a surgery I’d had ten years previously.   I was nervous, but I was definitely going to try. 

When Vindoo was born, he was underweight.  He was 2.5kgs (5.8lbs).  The doctor said that he should have formula for his first two feeds before I started nursing.  They whisked him away.  And while they were stitching me up, the midwife gave Vindoo his first feed.

Vinays_1st_feed

I gave him his second feed.  I couldn’t stop staring at him and marvelling at how perfect he was.  This is the little baby that grew inside me for nine months and finally I was holding him!  This is the little baby who kicked when he heard ‘Oh My Gosh’ by Usher.  This is the little baby that ‘made’ me eat all that McDonalds.  It was at that moment that I decided I didn’t want to breastfeed him.  I don’t know what it was, I don’t know what happened…  But I bottled it (no pun intended). 

Many will think I did the wrong thing by him.  I know about all the health benefits for baby and mum.  I *know*.  But I also knew that I was doing what was best for both of us at that time.  If I didn’t *want* to do it, then neither I or my baby would be happy. 

Hub was disappointed, but he stood by me (eventually).  I wasn’t breastfed and neither were my sister or brother (and we are all perfectly healthy).  Someone asked why I didn’t want to do what was best for my son.  The day after he was born.  While I was still in hospital.  I wasn’t starving him!  He was clearly happy and content!  I was doing what was best for him.  This pressure and ‘line of questioning’ continued for a day or two and then stopped.  (Thank God – I didn’t know how much more I could take).

All the midwives in the hospital were great.  No one made me feel guilty at all.  I realise how lucky I was.  I was worried about going home and having midwives and health visitors coming to our home and making me feel like a failure for not feeding.  Again, I was extremely lucky.  They were all great!  What frustrated me was that EVERY single person that came to visit asked if I was nursing.  Every single one.  And each one of them wanted to know why I had chosen not to.  Or they asked if it was because I wasn’t ‘getting any milk’.  Maybe it annoyed me because I felt a little guilty?

We came back to Lagos when Vindoo was 12 weeks old.  They are *very* big on breastfeeding here.  VERY.  I avoided taking him into school to see colleagues because I knew they would ask me if I was still nursing (which they would fully expect).  And when I did take him – when he was four months old, I was surprised only two or three people asked.  I just said, ‘no’ – rather than, ‘No.  And I never did’.  I thought I’d save myself some explaining which I knew would fall on deaf ears.  Even with just saying, ‘No’ – I got a lecture or two.

It took me a while to realise, to *really* realise and understand that choosing to breastfeed (or not) is a woman’s choice.  No one can make you do it.  Not Hub, not parents, not in-laws, no one.  They can’t force you.  And that you have to do what you have to do.  My boy and I have a strong bond.  We are close.  He is strong, happy and healthy (touch wood).  I love him more than anything in the world.  I would do anything for him.  And I didn’t have to breastfeed him to form that bond. 

 

 

This Week I’m Grateful For… My Friends

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There are things that I am grateful for every single day.  Family, health, food, my baby, etc.  But this week I am very grateful for my friends.

I know lots of people.  I see lots of people.  But I don’t think all of them are actual *friends*.

Friends

* We don’t always look like this.  I think it was ‘dress like a crazy person’ at school.

I don’t always see them, and I’m not always in touch with them for many reasons (one of them being that I’m addicted to Twitter.  BAD Twitter!).  We’re all busy with our own lives and I know that I should make more effort to see them and I’m going to try to do that 🙂

I know they’re my friends because:

* They ask me how I am out of the blue.

* They lend me maternity clothes when I don’t have any.

* They put Coke in their fridges when they know I’m coming over.

* They bring cupcakes over and surprise me.

* They come and stay with you when you are seven months pregnant and alone.

*They ask how Vindoo is after his shots.

There are many more things I could add to this short list!

Thank you friends. X

 

 

Goodness He Gets SO Excited!

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It wasn’t too long ago when I discovered that Vindoo absolutely *loves* looking in his wardrobe.  He likes to be carried while the doors are opened.  He kicks his legs, sometimes squeals with delight, might stick a hand in his mouth or bite my shoulder and he always beams from ear to ear.  His excitement grows when you touch the clothes inside and say things like, ‘Wow!  Look at all the t-shirts!’  or ‘Vindoo!  Look how many shorts you have!’  And then he liked to touch his clothes too – almost as if he was deciding on what to wear.

Before, this used to calm him down if he was crying about anything.  Open the wardrobe, and he would smile.  Guaranteed.

But now, it’s different…  Now he cries if you close the doors!  I couldn’t just stand there for hours on end looking into his wardrobe.  What could we do?  Next we noticed he *didn’t* cry if you took something for him to wear out of the wardrobe.  Very strange baby, indeed.

It’s usually pretty hot here during the day.  Sometimes with no electricity, therefore no airconditioning.  So Vindoo’s usually in just a vest/bodysuit during the day.  All his ‘going-out’ clothes are in his cupboard! 

Realisation dawned…  If I take something out of the wardrobe, he knows we’re going out!

Such a clever baby!

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NB: I tried *very* hard to get it on video.  But he was more interested in the camera – so gave up!

 

The Gallery – 3 Words

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This is only my second week taking part in The Gallery, and I must say – it’s a great idea! 

This week’s theme is based on a feature in Simon Mayo’s radio show 3 Word *insert day of week*.

My three words are…

NEED NEW SHOES

I know… You’re going to look at my accompanying picture and say ‘Like hell she does!’

But the sad truth is – out of all the shoes you see in the picture below – only four or five pairs fit 😦  My feet grew half a size during my pregnancy and they’ve not gone back!!

So, there you go.  NEED NEW SHOES

Shoes

After all, a woman can never have too many!

 

Memorable Movie Moments

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A few days ago Hub was at work and Vindoo was with his grandparents, so I was chilling at home.  The Time by The Black Eyed Peas started playing on my iPod.  Love that song.  But it’s impossible to listen to it without thinking about Dirty Dancing.  So I thought about it!  I thought about how much I love that movie, how many times I watched it when I was growing up and how crazy I drove my family making them watch it too (while I recited every line along with the film). 

It was totally natural for my thoughts to move on to all the other movies I love(d) to watch.  So I thought I’d share some of my favourites.  Songs, quotes, scenes – and in no particular order.  Apart from the first one, of course – since that’s the one that started all this!

1. Dirty Dancing (I always wished I could be Baby)

Dirty_dancing

We all know this quote:

Johnny Castle: No one puts Baby in a corner

(This was difficult to choose – because I was thinking about spaghetti arms, watermelons and playpens!)

 

2. Sixteen Candles  (I watched this film seventeen times in four days when I was fourteen.  And I will still watch it whenever I can!)

16candles

Jake Ryan: Happy birthday, Samantha.  Make a wish.

Samantha Baker: Well, it already came true.

(I used to have *the* biggest crush on Jake Ryan.)

 

3. Gone with the Wind (I think this is due to my mum’s and sister‘s influence)

Gone_with_the_wind

Hah!  No! My chosen quote is not about Rhett Butler not giving a damn!

It is, in fact…

Scarlett O’Hara: I can’t think about that right now.  If I do, I’ll go crazy.  I’ll think about that tomorrow.

(I’m exactly the same!)

 

4. The Wizard of Oz (I don’t know.  Don’t ask).

The_wizard_of_oz

The Wicked Witch of the West: I’ll get you my pretty.  And your little dog too!

 

5. Sister Act (Think what you like.  I LOVE this movie.)

Sister_act_2

Delores: ALMA!  Check your battery.  Can you give me an A please?

*laughing*

 

6. Grease (Come on!  Everyone loves this movie!  Love the soundtrack.  And I love John Travolta!)

Grease

Danny: That’s cool baby, you know how it is, rockin’ and rollin’ and what not.

Sandy: Danny?

Danny: That’s my name, don’t wear it out.

Sandy: What’s the matter with you?

Danny: What’s the matter with me, baby, what’s the matter with you?

Sandy: What happened to the Danny Zuko I met at the beach?

Danny: Well I do not know.  Maybe there’s two of us.  Why don’t you take out a missing person’s ad?  Or try the yellow pages, I don’t know.

Sandy: You’re a fake and a phony and I wish I never laid eyes on you!

(I can just imagine their voices and everything)

 

7. Sister Act 2 (Again – Think what you want.  I love it!)

Sa2

I had to choose two.  Is that cheating?  I couldn’t help it….

a) Sister Mary Clarence: If you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention.

b) Sister Mary Clarence: I am not, nor have I ever been a Las Vegas showgirl.  I… Am a headliner!

 

8. Grease 2 (Don’t judge me.  I watched this over and over again as well!)

Grease_2

Stephanie (singing): I want a whole lot more than the boy next door.  I want hell on wheels.

 

9.  Jerry Maguire (I’ve watched this movie a number of times.  I enjoy it, but I can’t say it’s one of my favourites.  I just love the following quote.    No, it’s not ‘You had me at hello’ or ‘You complete me’.

Jerry_maguire

Dorothy: I love him!  I love him for the man he wants to be.  And I love him for the man he almost is.

 

Oh – and I asked Hub to give me a quote from one of his all-time favourite films. 

He said: Say hello to my little friend.  (From Scarface)

Tut.  Typical!

There were so many more I should have included – Pretty Woman, The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, Sound of Music, My Fair Lady and about a million more…  But I didn’t want to bore you (anymore!)!