On Saturday evening we went to a birthday party.  It was a child’s first birthday, and the party started at 6.30 pm.

The timing was really weird, but we had to attend.  We arrived at 6.45 pm.  No one else arrived until after 7 pm.

V was quite happy playing with the balloons.  But me…  I was totally out of my comfort zone.  LagosDad and I didn’t know anyone apart from the hosts – and they were, of course, busy.  The hosts and all their guests belong to a different community and don’t speak English very well.

The ladies were all dressed up.  Hair done.  FULLY made-up.  High heels.  Tight, tight dresses.  One or two of them backless.

All the ladies sat on one end of the table and the men at the other.

I was a bit bewildered, but I dealt with it.

What horrified me was…

A lady came in with her 3 year old son.  She sat down opposite me and her son sat next to her.  He was excited about all the balloons everywhere and said something like, ‘WOW!’

His mother said to him, ‘Lower your voice!’  His enthusiasm for the balloons didn’t lessen, and again, she said to him, ‘Lower your voice!’  The third time, she threatened to beat him.

A little while later, she was feeding him and he knocked over his glass of juice by mistake.  She smacked his hand so hard, her ring flew off!

She then realised that the spilled drink was dripping off the table onto her handbag (which was on the floor).

She slapped him across the face.

She then looked at me, saw me watching her, and said, ‘He just won’t sit still!’

I replied, ‘He’s three.  He’s not meant to sit still.’

I don’t think she understood me very well.

The worst part is that when she slapped him, he didn’t cry.

He didn’t flinch.


How often is this child being slapped at home?!

He was a little terror, I was watching him play with some of the other children.  I have to admit, he was very rough.  LagosDad even commented on that – and he never says anything.

But surely slapping the child at every opportunity is not going to make him behave any better?

I really wish there was something I could do!

Going Potty

Since Vinay was just over a year old, I’ve been trying to encourage him to sit on the potty for a few minutes before his bath.  Just to get used to it.  

My mum, who of course has an opinion, said I should have started doing that when he was six months old.  

Anyway… V wasn’t having any of it.  AT ALL.  He would freak out each time.  I decided that I wasn’t going to pressure him as it would probably turn him off forever.  And I left him alone.  

Once he started nursery (when he was two years old) and saw other children using the toilet properly, he would randomly ask to sit on the potty to do whatever he needed to.

About ten days ago he decided he wanted to wear ‘big boy pants’ while he was at home.  And every five minutes someone was asking him if he wanted to go to the bathroom!

That day was a Sunday.  And the next day, he insisted on wearing a nappy to nursery.  Even after sitting him down and explaining that his teacher would take him to the bathroom if he wanted and that if he had an accident, it was okay and that there would be spare clothes and pants in his bag.  But no.  He wanted to wear a nappy.

Once he was back home – he wanted to wear his pants again and we’ve had only one or two accidents.

This weekend we talked again about wearing pants to school and he seemed to quite like the idea – except he’s been ill (again) and hasn’t been to nursery yesterday or today.

So, wearing his pants at home is working well for us at the moment.  And he’s becoming more confident in asking when he wants to go to the bathroom.  But I think he’s still a bit shy about going to school wearing pants.

If I continue to let him wear a nappy to school and to wherever else we go and his pants at home – is potty training him going to take forever?

Should I insist he wears pants to school once he goes back?


Excuses, Excuses


Yes.  That’s me.

In spite of having the best intentions, I just cannot bring myself to put on my trainers and do any exercise.

Suggest an activity.  Go on, do it.  I can guarantee you that I’ll have an excuse for why I can’t (or won’t) do it.

Pilates (which I planned to do when I got back in January)?  

No – the instructor had an accident and broke her collar bone.

Boot Camp (which many of my friends do in the morning)?

Ugh – the thought of bouncing around, getting sweaty and people watching me while I do it?  No thank you.


Same as above.


Could do.  But I don’t have a pool, so having to rely on other people is a problem.


I’d like to go with someone I know.  And the people I know that go walking go in the evening.  And I don’t want to leave Vinay home.

Fitness DVD?

Also a possibility.  But we rarely have power in the morning.  And although the TV and DVD player work on our inverter, it would be too hot.



It’s ridiculous.  I know I want/need to lose some weight, but I want it to happen magically.  I realise this is impossible.  I’m not completely deluded.  

I think I need to dig out my Thinking Slimmer CD…

How do I stop making excuses for myself?  

Suggestions, anyone?


Last Saturday I took Vinay to a birthday party.

His favourite thing about parties, apart from the food, is his return gift.

One of the gifts he got in his party pack on Saturday was a pair of little children’s sunglasses.

Vinay has only ever worn sunglasses once.  And that was last Summer in Bali.  He didn’t want to wear them, but I convinced him to put them on for a minute while I took a picture.

V in Bali – Summer 2012

Since then, each time he has complained about the sun going in his eyes, I have asked him if he wants to wear a pair of sunglasses (he won’t wear a hat).  His answer is always the same, ‘No’.

After the party on Saturday a friend and her son (T) stopped by on their way home.  They had also been to the same party and her son got the same sunglasses in his party pack.  Vinay watched T put on his sunglasses and wear them for a good few minutes.

Since then he has been OBSESSED with sunglasses!  He wants to wear them all the time.  Indoors, outdoors, in the day and in the night, while he’s having breakfast, lunch and dinner!

Can’t get enough!

So I realised he wouldn’t wear them until he saw T wear them.  Which, to me, says he needs to spend more time with other children outside of school…

I better go set up some play dates!

Three Little Words

This evening I was sitting on my bed watching TV.

Vinay walked into my room and climbed up onto my lap.  I nibbled his ear while he watched with me.

He suddenly turned around, looked at me and said, ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too’, I said.

‘No, I love you.’

We carried on like this for a few moments, but all the while my heart wanted to burst and I just wanted to cry.

He really is growing up too fast!