So, LagosDad (I’m going to try using that instead of Hub from now on) and I have started talking about whether we should start trying for Baby Number 2… This excites me, and yet fills me with dread – for several reasons!
I definitely want another child, maybe even two! I never once thought about having only one child. But…
1. I’ve just turned 34. It took us two years to get pregnant with V, so we can’t really afford to take our time wondering about whether the time is right. I know many women/families have babies later in life, but I don’t want to leave it too late!
2. As mentioned above, it took us two years before. I don’t know if I want to go through all the pressure and disappointment (of realising I’m not pregnant) again.
3. I’ve (recently) started feeling a bit down-in-the-dumps. I’ve always been happy to be a SAHM, but now it’s starting to get to me a little. I have no intention of returning to education; but I want to do *something*. And now I have a plan (can’t say anything yet), I’d just have to put everything on hold.
4. My last pregnancy was so smooth. I didn’t have any morning sickness at all and hardly any other issues (apart from gaining too much weight and having an emergency c-section). What if the next pregnancy isn’t like the first one?
5. What if something goes wrong?
6. I love Vinay. I love him SO much, it scares me. And what frightens me the most is I don’t know if I’ll be able to love another baby as much. Does that sound ridiculous? It doesn’t in my head, but it does when I say it out loud!
So – Does anyone have any advice? Do I sound utterly selfish and absurd?
The Diary of a Lagos Mum 
I can’t answer you r questions another whether or not your next pregnancy will be as smooth or not or whether it will take as long as it did with V but I can reassure you that you will be able to love another child as much as your first. Imagine if you had twins you would have all that love for two babies wouldn’t you?I also worried if I could love another after Burton but I do love Jenson very much. It s different the second time around but it could never be the same as it was the first time really could it?Good luck though whatever you decide xx
OMG! It’s like ready my own thoughts!1. I’m 34. It only took me 3 months to fall with The Boy but my mother started the menopause at 37, I can’t wait much longer!2. I don’t know if I want to go through all the pressure and disappointment (of realising I’m not pregnant) again.3. I’ve also started feeling a bit down-in-the-dumps. I wish I didn’t have to work, but doing something for me is good for me. 4. My last pregnancy was so smooth. I had nauseas but barely any sickness. I also lost weight whilst pregnant. 5. What if something goes wrong? 6. I love The Boy. I love him SO much, it scares me. And what frightens me the most is I don’t know if I’ll be able to love another baby as much. Does that sound ridiculous? It doesn’t in my head, but it does when I say it out loud!I know I’ve just copied and pasted your thoughts into the comments box, but I wanted you to know that I’m thinking exactly the same things!
Hello, been trying to comment since I read the post. Finaly! Well, Kapil and I are in the same boat. It has taken a whole year and half to convince him that we should try for another baby. He had the same questions, will we love the second as much, what about all the complications that we always have? are we ready to go through the same emotional stress? surprisingly, i have been and am quite ready. I just want another baby. I can feel so many times that I am getting older, my stamina is lesser and so is my patience. I dont just want to love the second baby same but even give the same amount of attention when it comes to training, teaching and noticing the milestones.I want to be in love with the next one too. So, now is the right time. Before I see more of Ranveer and how things get difficult (which i already feel are in comparison to him being a baby), I want another one. However, we will plan once our maid returns from her 2 month holiday. I wish we thought about it even earlier. Now there will be the whole sibling rivalry to deal with too. My bottomline advise is: dont worry, be positive. It will work out perfectly. God will only give you what you can handle and when you can handle it. So just have faith in yourself and it wil work out for the best. Stay positive and surely DONT DELAY!
Thank you all, ladies. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who feels a bit confused! I know we *will* start trying soon – but I can’t help but worry (it’s what I do best!)!x
Wow! Three women in the same place as I & the Mr find ourselves. Badster will be 4 this year. It’s never been right and now our business(es) are just taking off and I worry, not about the loving of #2 (I’ve been reassured on that aspect) but about being the (relatively) hands on mum I’ve been this first time. I do feel B’s way too attached to us and could do with some ‘squashing’ even while my heart breaks at the thought of that happening… We’re also ‘planning’ so will see where this road takes us :s
Don’t worry about not having enough love to go round. I think your heart doubles in size every time you have another child. (And your patience probably halves but that’s another story 🙂 )
Of course not. You don’t sound selfish. Anyone of us would do the same.