Time To Try?

So, LagosDad (I’m going to try using that instead of Hub from now on) and I have started talking about whether we should start trying for Baby Number 2…  This excites me, and yet fills me with dread – for several reasons!

I definitely want another child, maybe even two!  I never once thought about having only one child.  But…

1.  I’ve just turned 34.  It took us two years to get pregnant with V, so we can’t really afford to take our time wondering about whether the time is right.  I know many women/families have babies later in life, but I don’t want to leave it too late!

2.  As mentioned above, it took us two years before.  I don’t know if I want to go through all the pressure and disappointment (of realising I’m not pregnant) again.

3.  I’ve (recently) started feeling a bit down-in-the-dumps.  I’ve always been happy to be a SAHM, but now it’s starting to get to me a little.  I have no intention of returning to education; but I want to do *something*.  And now I have a plan (can’t say anything yet), I’d just have to put everything on hold.

4.  My last pregnancy was so smooth.  I didn’t have any morning sickness at all and hardly any other issues (apart from gaining too much weight and having an emergency c-section).  What if the next pregnancy isn’t like the first one?  

5.  What if something goes wrong?  

6.  I love Vinay.  I love him SO much, it scares me.  And what frightens me the most is I don’t know if I’ll be able to love another baby as much.  Does that sound ridiculous?  It doesn’t in my head, but it does when I say it out loud!

So – Does anyone have any advice?  Do I sound utterly selfish and absurd?