I’m done. I’m done wallowing in self-pity and moping around. I re-read my last post and cringed. I was going to delete it, but then decided I wouldn’t. Because as embarrassing as it was, that’s how I felt at the time. And what’s the point of writing on here if I don’t admit things like that?
So… What did it take for me to get over it? A dose of reality. Not mine, though.
First, on Saturday while LagosDad was at work and V was napping, I watched Giuliana and Bill. Ever seen it? It’s a reality show if you don’t know it already. I don’t usually watch it, but there was nothing else on.
I already knew that they were trying to get pregnant and I knew that she’d had a miscarriage and then got breast cancer.
They covered all these things in the episode I watched. Giuliana had had a mastectomy, and they’d found someone to carry a baby for them after several failed attempts at IVF.
They were thrilled. They were so thrilled that they were finally going to have a baby, even though she wasn’t carrying it herself.
I cried. I cried and realised how blessed I actually am. I have so much to be grateful for. And yes, it’s a reality TV show, but it seriously put things into perspective for me.
I hadn’t been on Twitter much over the weekend, it’s taken a bit of a backseat for me lately (no reason really). I signed in last night for the first time on Sunday and was absolutely shocked by what I was seeing. And that was the second thing that did it for me.
No one should have to lose a child. No one. And I am so sorry for Jennie’s loss. My thoughts and prayers are with her and her family.
I spent the evening in tears, wanting to wake Vinay and hold him.
While my heart aches for Jennie’s family, I find myself counting my blessings once again.
I will not sit around and think about what I don’t have. Because then I’ll be missing out on what I *do* have.
I’ve snapped out of it now.
Life is too precious to wallow and mope, and I have too much to be grateful for.