What Do You Mean, ‘No!’?

Here’s a scenario that happens in our house on almost a daily basis.  Usually more than once a day.

V is watching television, but it’s time for his bath.  I’m not so mean as to switch everything off in the middle of a DVD (even if he’s seen it five million times).  

So I tell him, ‘Vinay, it’s time for your bath.’

He immediately starts making a fuss.

‘Vinay, you can watch one more song and then it’s time for a bath.’  

He agrees.  

I make sure he has understood what I’ve said.

‘Vinay, how many songs can you watch?’ He tells me, ‘One’ and holds up one finger.

‘What will you do after that?’ He replies, ‘Go for bath.’

So he understands.  

After his chosen song is over, I remind him it’s time for his bath and that he AGREED that he will come without a fuss.

Cue tantrum and a whole lot of ‘No, no no!’

I don’t let him watch any more, but he can spend anywhere between ten and thirty minutes stamping his feet and throwing himself around the room.  

This SAME scenario happens throughout the day. 

When it’s time to eat, time to sleep, time to get dressed, whatever it is.  We agree on something. I check he understands, but then he has an absolute shit fit.

I’ve tried it the other way round as well.  E.g. ‘Yes, you can watch Wheels on the Bus, but you have to have dinner first.’  

Doesn’t happen.  He screams and cries and then nothing happens for the next hour. 

I find myself losing my patience more regularly and really need to come up with some strategies to deal with this nonsense.

Am I being too soft?

Any advice?

2 thoughts on “What Do You Mean, ‘No!’?

  1. Stand your ground.The Boy is three and a third now and I’ve discovered that about every six months or so he goes through a testing me stage, and each time he pushes that bit more. He tests me to see if I really mean it and if I’ll follow through. Yesterday, after 30 minutes of eating cheese on toast I asked him for the fifth time to finish that slice. I warned him if he didn’t hurry up and eat that slice then I would be putting his dinner in the bin and he’d have to go hungry. He looked at me, and ignored me and carried on singing. One minute later I asked him what I was going to do and he told me. So he understood. Then he carried on singing so I put his food in the bin and made him look in there to understand it was gone. He was distraught that I’d followed through but he understood and apologised. It sounds extreme, but you really do have to stand your ground and give them the barriers that you know children need. And yes I hate using teacher tactics on my child.

  2. I keep telling myself, ‘Don’t give in. Don’t give in. Don’t give in.’ God, it’s hard!I think I need a refresher course of behaviour management!

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