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Not So Sleepy Head

I knew it. I just knew it.

I knew if I talked about it, I’d jinx it.

But what are you supposed to do when people keep asking questions like, ‘Is he a good baby?’ ‘Does he sleep well?’ ‘Is he sleeping through the night?’ ‘How many times does he wake up?’

I was feeling quite smug about the fact that Baby V put himself into a routine and started sleeping through the night at eleven weeks.

Alas – it was not to be.

He got a slight cold just before Christmas and that threw everything off. Then he went through a growth spurt (at least that’s what I’m telling myself), which didn’t help.

So now he still sleeps at 7 pm. And I still dream feed him (timing depends on his last feed), but he’s started waking. He spent a few nights getting up at 5 am. A few at 4 am and some at 3 am.

I took to waiting up until 1 am and feeding him and then going to bed at about 1.30 – 1.45 am.

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Awake at 1 am.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But I became exhausted and unable to function properly.

Then I thought I’d try the Gina Ford book. That lasted about a day. Maybe half a day. It was my fault. I just wasn’t ‘feeling it’.

And now I’ve just left it. If he wakes, he wakes. If he doesn’t, he doesn’t.

Last night he had a feed at 8.30 pm and then woke at 5 am for another feed. And then slept again until 8 am.

So he’s still sleeping well – it’s just that his timings have changed.

I think I’m the sleepy head.

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Sigh

Yesterday evening V decided that we were going to have cuddles. Him, me and LagosDad. Three of us at the same time. It’s been a long time since he’s instigated the cuddles, so we were happy to comply.
What usually happens is that we all lie in bed with V in the middle. And when he gives the command (he’s good at that), LagosDad and I roll inwards and put our arms around each other. And V gets squashed in the middle.
We were having a lovely time. Giggling and hugging.
Then…
V: Mama, why is your tummy still so big?
Me: Mmm. Because I need to exercise. *wanting to die*
V: Yes you must exercise. Look at papa’s tummy. It’s become so teeny tiny because he exercises.
Me: *avoiding LagosDad’s smug look* Yes. He does exercise a lot, doesn’t he?

So now… I have to start.
Soon.

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Family Complete

Last week a friend of mil’s came to visit Baby V.

The two of them hadn’t met in a while and were having a catch up.

Talk turned to someone they know who has a two (I’m guessing) year old daughter and just recently had a baby boy.

One of the women says, ‘Oh, so now their family is complete?’

And the other replies (while shaking her head from side to side (Indian style)), ‘Yah yah – family complete.

I sat there becoming more and more irritated.

WTF.

Since when does having one boy and one girl make a family ‘complete’? Is my family incomplete because I have two boys? If I had a third child and that one turned out to be a boy as well, would my family still be incomplete?

I find these archaic views of life so frustrating that I wanted to just scream.

But I didn’t.

I just shut up and smiled. This time.

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Two Children

A couple of Sundays ago we went out for a family lunch. Four of us and my in-laws.

When we got to the restaurant the two Vs and I went in while LagosDad parked the car.

There was a big corner table of people we knew – friends of my parents’/in-laws’ and friends of ours.

Anyway, so I took the children to meet them – many of them hadn’t seen V2 before. V1 wasn’t happy with being surrounded by so many people and stuck by my side the whole time.

One of the ladies (mil’s friend) congratulated me on Baby V’s birth and said, ‘Isn’t it just perfect to be able to say that you have two children instead of just one?’

Errr… Excuse me, lady – my son is standing right here listening to you. I thought she was totally insensitive and out of order, but I just smiled and said, ‘Actually, having one child was also perfect for us.’

She was a little taken aback and didn’t really know what to say. She said, ‘Oh yes, yes, of course.’

When I told LagosDad about it, he said I wasn’t meant to answer her back. I was meant to just shut up and smile.

I told him that I don’t just shut up and smile when I’m offended by someone’s insensitivity. Especially when it involves my children.

 

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Christmas Stuff

This is the first year we’ve been in Lagos for Christmas for a really long time. My third time in the last ten years. The last time we were here was when I came back with V1 when he was twelve weeks old. We put a tree up that year – but didn’t do presents or anything like that.

This year, I wanted to make it really special for V1 and for V2 as it was his first Christmas (not that he would remember.

So I just wanted to share a few of our Christmas pictures.

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The Elf

This Christmas (or is it now last Christmas?) we got an Elf for the first time and V called him Fisbee.

I thought I’d use Fisbee as a tool to encourage good behaviour – you know to earn extra points with Santa. Fisbee left him a couple of notes – reminding him to say good morning to his grandparents and to do his Kumon (I know, I just can’t let it go).

I know the point of the elf is for the kids to find him in all sorts of weird and wonderful situations each day – but you know what… I’m not that creative. And I couldn’t be arsed.

Anyway – so V was ecstatic to look for Fisbee in the mornings. He wasn’t just sitting on a shelf somewhere. He was hiding amongst the Christmas presents one morning, hanging off the Christmas tree another. One morning he was hanging off the chandelier, and another reading a book. Ok – so not the most exciting – but V was happy.

Pretty soon (after a couple of days) V got bored with the notes and letters asking him to do stuff. So I decided I wouldn’t bother anymore.

Honestly, it was enough to see his face light up every morning when he spotted him.

I suppose that’s what it’s all supposed to be about!

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Christmas Concert

They have a classroom blog at V’s school. The teacher updates it once a week (over the weekend) and basically lets us parents know about upcoming events, etc. It’s really useful and great to read all about (and see pictures) what the children have been learning.

At the beginning of December she posted to say that the Christmas Concert would take place on the 19th of December and that the children were going to sing We Wish You a Merry Christmas, Dancing Christmas Tree and that they would need to wear a Santa’s hat.

I groaned almost immediately. 1. Is this boy of mine going to actually sing? On a stage? In front of people? 2. How am I going to get him to wear a hat?

We were asked to practice the songs at home. V was (surprisingly) very happy to sing at home. We sang many Christmas carols together, actually. It made a really nice change. But he kept saying that he wouldn’t wear the hat. Ever.

I asked his teacher to please tell the children in class that they all had to wear one – and suddenly he didn’t mind wearing it! He wore it at home for days before the 19th!

The morning of the concert arrived and I don’t think he really knew what was going to happen.

As LagosDad and I arrived at school, we saw his class walking through the courtyard to the hall. And he was wearing his hat. Success!

As soon as he got up on stage and spotted us (and a sea of other faces), he took the hat off. And when it was their turn to sing – he wouldn’t.

He just stood there. Without his hat. Then in the second song, he started pretending that he was a dinosaur (a brachiosaurus to be exact). He stood on his tip toes, stretched his neck upwards and started ‘eating’ leaves from the trees. While still on stage.

LagosDad and I knew exactly what he was doing. Other parents must have thought he was a bit… Odd. Very odd.

I was a little disappointed. I already knew in my heart that he wouldn’t sing, but I was still disappointed.

When we collected him off the stage, I gave him a big hug and a kiss and said, ‘Hey Vins! I thought you were going to sing?’ And next to me another mum said to her son (in V’s class), ‘I’m so proud of you!’

Crap.

I’ve still got a lot to learn.

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Rescue Me!

V1 is four years old. And like most other four year olds, he’s into dinosaurs, animals and every type of vehicle. He knows so much about the things he’s interested in, it never ceases to amaze me.

However, there is one thing about him which I don’t think is like other four year olds…

See – usually when you ask a child what they would like to be when they grow up (or what they want to dress up as for Halloween), they probably say things like: doctor, nurse, fire fighter, policeman, etc.

V? No, no, no… He says he wants to be a rescue vehicle. He wants to be the fire engine, the ambulance or the police car.

Strange kid.

Oh wait. I just remembered. Sometimes he pretends he’s a brachiosaurus eating leaves from the trees. *head desk*

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What Happened to the Advent Calendar?

So I’ve been very lazy about updating my blog. To be honest, lazy isn’t the word. It’s busy. I’ve been too busy to update! Oh – and tired. So all my posts about Christmas and stuff are a bit late – but whatever!

So remember about the Advent Calendar? I had the brilliant idea of using the chocolate as a bribery for Vinay to do his Kumon each day.

He was actually very excited about it – and we started off really well. It worked! But only for two days.

By the third day he said, ‘You eat the chocolate Mama. I don’t want it.’

WTF? Where was my son, the chocoholic?

Anyway, so LagosDad and I ate all the chocolates (from two calendars). We just stuffed our faces whenever we wanted *ashamed face*.

It turns out that V didn’t mind not having any chocolate because his Dadi (paternal grandmother) had been giving him chocolate every day on the sly (I’m not willing to discuss this right now. All I will say is, ‘GRRRRR’).

So we’ve abandoned the Kumon for now. I’ve tried to reintroduce it from time to time – but my son knows his mind and when it’s made up, it’s made up.

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Insecurity

I got Rolo (my Lhasa Apso) before LagosDad and I were married. In fact, I got him before we were even engaged. He was, in every way, my baby.

I fed him, I bathed him, I walked him, I cleared up his messes and I comforted him during thunderstorms.

Things, of course, changed slightly once LagosDad moved in. Rolo couldn’t understand why he wasn’t allowed to sleep on the other side of the bed, and LagosDad couldn’t understand why each time he got out of bed and came back, the dog was in his space!

Rolo was still my baby though!

When I went away to have V1, I was gone for over five months. I know Rolo was well taken care of in my absense – but I missed him. I even cried when I said goodbye to him. And (confession time), when I first held V1, I may have (ok, I did) cooed at him and called him a ‘good dog’ (oops).

Of course once I came back, it was all change again. Rolo went so nuts when I walked through the door, that he didn’t even notice the baby in the car seat. And when he did notice, I put the car seat down on the floor and let him have a good sniff and an all over lick of the baby (much to some people’s horror). I saw no reason to not let him continue to share the bed. And I didn’t mind if he rolled over on V1’s playmat. As far as I was concerned, I was boosting the baby’s immune system!

But… even though all that happened/was allowed – things were different for Rolo. Even though he still got a lot of love and attention – he didn’t get as much as before. I was busy. I had a baby. Poor Rolo – he adopted an old Care Bear of mine in the weeks following our return. This Care Bear became his security blanket. Or, as I like to call it, his Hump Buddy. He took the bear with him everywhere he went. Upstairs, downstairs, this room, that room. Everywhere. He humped it, he chewed it, he slept with it, he ripped its nose off and he pulled its stuffing out. And, (I think) when he was wishing ill upon the new baby in the house, he chewed its neck. He did this a lot.

Rolo and his Care Bear

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Sorry for the poor picture quality)

So the state of the bear in the above picture isn’t actually that bad. While I was away this time, having V2, the bear was ripped to shreds (by him) and was thrown away.

When I came back, Rolo, now ten years old, was ecstatic. As was I. I’d missed him. A lot. He was very happy to see V1 as well (quite indifferent to V2) and spent the first three days trying to hump him! Finally I told V1 that we had to go through all his cuddly toys and find which ones he wouldn’t mind Rolo having. He picked out about four (with my approval) and we lined them up, ready for Rolo to choose. He chose the biggest bear of them all (one my mum bought me when I was 15). It’s actually bigger than him! This bear is already being dragged up and down stairs, in and out of rooms and some of its stuffing has been pulled out already!

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Poor Rolo. I think his choice of bear relates directly to how insecure he’s feeling!