Two Weeks

Today is Wednesday. And on Sunday Vins and I are off to London for two weeks.

Yes, just the two of us. For two weeks.

He needs a new passport and apparently you can’t renew British passports over here any more. I didn’t dig too deeply to find out more information, because hey – who doesn’t want to go to London?

The thing is… I’m leaving Booni behind. Not on his own, obviously – LagosDad will be here. The nanny will be here. And my in laws will be here. So I know he’ll be very well taken care of. But I’m still worrying. What if he’s lonely? What if he misses us? What if he thinks I’ve abandoned him? LagosDad has promised to take him to playgroup at least twice a week – so at least he’ll be getting out a little.

I’ve left Vin before – once when he was 15 months and once when he was 21 months. Each time I only went for a week. And that was pretty hard. While I loved being in London, and I loved being on my own, I had the feeling that something was missing. Like a part of me was missing.

London with Vins will be…. exciting interesting. I’m used to having either LagosDad, or the nanny or my mum around to help out. So this is a first for both of us. My sister will arrive four days after us – so she’ll be there to help! And also, thank God he’s decided he likes spaghetti and pizza now – so we have a couple more meal options!

I am so excited to get out of here and escape for a couple of weeks – but now that it’s all confirmed, the nerves have set in. What if Booni’s lonely? What if he misses us? What if he thinks I’ve abandoned him? (I know, I’ve said all this already) And… What if he forgets me??

 

 

Bloody Mosquitoes

About three weeks ago Baby V woke up with a whole lot of mosquito bites on his face.

I felt terrible. But also a bit confused. I spray the room every evening. I use mosquito cream on him and I put a mosquito patch on his pjs. So how did this happen?

I used Sudocrem on the bites and hoped that they’d disappear. But of course, it’s not the marks on his face that I was worried about – it’s malaria.

After that incident I increased the number of patches to three! One on the sheet near his head. Then a couple of hours later I’d stick one on his sleeve and then at about midnight (sometimes later) I’d add another. But now that he’s moving around so much, I don’t stick them on the sheets any more.

Anyway, a couple of days after the bite marks disappeared I was feeling better about the whole thing when I thought I’d better check how long it takes for malaria to develop. When would I see the signs? Two to three weeks. That’s a long time to worry about whether your baby is going to get malaria or not!

There were no more mosquito incidents after that. Until two nights ago. He woke yesterday to a bite on each cheek, two on his chin and one on the eyebrow. WHY is this still happening? Even after spraying the room – sometimes twice. And after increasing the use of the cream. And after increasing the number of patches?

Someone did recommend using a mosquito net to cover the cot – but with the amount of times he’s been waking, I don’t think it would really help much. And wouldn’t he feel claustrophobic?

So yet again, I’m worrying.

Enjoying It

Baby V is nearly two months old now. In fact, now that I look at the date, I see he’ll be two months old tomorrow.

He’s growing fast and really is quite adorable. Even at four in the morning (sometimes).

A few weeks ago while we were having a chat (yes, Baby V and I), my mum asked me if I was ‘enjoying him’. I was a bit confused by the question. He’s a baby, of course I’m enjoying him. But when I went to sleep that night, I started to think about what she had asked me (I really should have just gone to sleep – God knows I get so little of it these days!).

When V was born (V1. Big V. I never know what to call him.) I didn’t have to think about anything apart from him. Sometimes I took him out with us, sometimes I left him at home with a babysitter (I’m talking about when he was a newborn – before we went back to Lagos when he was twelve weeks old). At the time I’m sure I agonised over every decision, but looking back on it – I literally had nothing else to worry about. Apart from going back to Lagos with a baby and how to deal with a whole host of different issues.

And this time?

Apart from (again) agonising over all the usual baby decisions – Should I bathe him if he had a bath yesterday? Should I wake him for a feed? Will that rash go away? Is it because of the baby products? Should I change the products? Well, they were good enough for his brother, why shouldn’t he use the same? (By the way, it turns out I did need to change the products) Never ending.

I’ve been worrying about V1 as well. How is he coping? Is he getting enough attention? Have I told him to stop talking too many times today? Is he watching too much television? Is he settled in nursery? Why won’t he eat anything apart from chocolate? Why is he having another meltdown? Have I got all his school uniform for when we go back? Is he missing too much? Will all the other kids be fully settled? Why won’t he leave the house? Why does he want to wear the same bloody vest every day? Why is he obsessed with buying toys? And on and on and on.

Baby V hasn’t had his eight week vaccinations yet. Because of that I don’t want to take him on the bus and have people breathe all over him. So anywhere we go – we walk. There and back. Because of that I can’t always take V1 because he can’t manage the long walks. The nanny is here and being super helpful – but she can’t handle both children (and I wouldn’t want her to) at the same time. So one of them has to come out with me at all times. To be honest, it’s easier to take Baby V. Mostly because he doesn’t talk! But it means I have to walk whether I want to or not. It’s much easier now that LagosDad is here (after being away for six weeks). V1 and he are busy doing all sorts of things from Lego to errands in Marks & Spencer. Basically, what I’m complaining about is the logistics and having to think everything through three times before committing to a plan! It’s not a big deal – it’s just something I have to get used to!

In addition, whenever I’ve been to London before or gone to Dubai, I’ve lived with my parents. Even when V1 was born. Now we are renting the flat we are in. LagosDad hasn’t been here much and things I’ve never had to do have come up. I realise that these are small things – but these are things that I’ve never had to do before… Reading gas and electricity meters and paying the bills. Paying council tax bills. Paying Internet, cable TV and phone bills.

Being able to pay everything online makes it all so easy – but it’s just extra things to think about!

It’s all been a bit overwhelming – but not unmanageable!

In spite of all that, I’m trying to convince LagosDad to let us stay here until Christmas. But he’s not having any of it.

While I’m stressing myself over everything (as usual (I’m a worrier, I have to face it)), I have to admit that I don’t enjoy everything about motherhood. I don’t enjoy waking up at four am. I don’t like that I’ve not had a chance to catch up on some of my favourite TV shows. I don’t enjoy changing dirty nappies and being vomited on.

But, I love my Baby V (and my Big V). I love talking to him and getting a reaction. A coo or a smile. I love massaging and bathing him. I love kissing his nose and counting his toes. Looking at him melts my heart.

So yes, I am enjoying him.

And I wouldn’t swap places with anyone. Unless, of course, they had five nannies.

 

 

Movement

According to my weekly BabyCentre emails, I should be able to feel the baby’s movements from about sixteen to twenty weeks.  Apparently if it’s a second or subsequent pregnancy, I may have even been able to feel movement from about thirteen weeks.

So my question is – if I’m nineteen weeks, why aren’t I feeling any movement?

I can’t remember when I first felt V move.  Why don’t I remember?  At the time I’m pretty sure I told myself I’d never forget which week of pregnancy I was in and the date and time, etc!

Sometimes I think I can feel movement – but then I think maybe it’s just hunger pangs (I get a lot of those) or gas.

After stressing about it for a few days, I told LagosDad I was going to have a scan.  It was just last week (eighteen weeks) and I hadn’t had a scan since my thirteenth week.  Nothing wrong with wanting to make sure, right?

Anyway – so everything is fine.  The baby is still there and he’s moving around.  And, of course LagosDad told me I was worrying about nothing as usual.

So why can’t I feel it?  And when will I feel it?

And why is everything worrying me?