Myself

The following are things I’ve said over the last few months:

1. Ugh, I need a break from my kids.
2. I wish I could go on holiday by myself – no kids and no husband!
3. Of course they’ll be ok without me.
4. Babysitting is one of the perks of having in laws around all the time.
5. I really don’t want to fly with my boys.
6. I’d have no problem leaving them behind!

And this is what I’ve realised about myself:

1. I don’t want to go on holiday by myself.
2. I don’t want to go through a twenty hour journey on my own.
3. I do have a problem leaving them behind.
4. I’m all talk.

On My Own

My cousin is getting married next week. Her fairytale themed wedding (seriously) is in Bali. We’ve known this for months and have been hoping to go.
We didn’t book anything – LagosDad finds it impossible to plan ahead. And I’m a total forward planner! So the last few months have been full of uncertainty as to our plans this holiday.
We were going to go and take the kids. But it wasn’t really making any sense. Firstly, Vins gets airsick and wasn’t keen on taking 3 flights. Secondly, Booni has ants in his pants and I wasn’t keen on flying 20 hours with him. Thirdly, it’s kind of expensive to fly all the way there for a 3 day wedding and then endure the flights back. We thought about staying on for a bit and having a family holiday. We even thought about going to India afterwards (ugh – no thanks). Eventually we decided we wouldn’t take the children.
Then LagosDad and I thought about going on our own and hanging out there for a day or so before and after the wedding. But he couldn’t commit because of his work schedule.
My parents and aunt have messaged almost every day asking about our bookings! Our plans keep changing, so I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for certain.
So over the weekend, LagosDad told me he wouldn’t be able to get away – but that I should go ahead.
I’m going to Bali next week!
I haven’t told Vins yet. And I’ve not given my parents my dates yet – I’m waiting to purchase my ticket first.
I’m worried about leaving the boys. And I’m worried about getting everything ready for Christmas as I won’t be back until the 23rd.
I’m worried as I haven’t got the right clothes for a week in Bali and I’m worried about not really knowing any of the guests (apart from 5 or 6 of my cousins – who will know most of the other guests).
But mostly I’m worried about leaving my babies. LagosDad is here. My ins are here and the nanny is here. So in theory they should be ok…
Oh well. I’m going to Bali!

Two Weeks

Today is Wednesday. And on Sunday Vins and I are off to London for two weeks.

Yes, just the two of us. For two weeks.

He needs a new passport and apparently you can’t renew British passports over here any more. I didn’t dig too deeply to find out more information, because hey – who doesn’t want to go to London?

The thing is… I’m leaving Booni behind. Not on his own, obviously – LagosDad will be here. The nanny will be here. And my in laws will be here. So I know he’ll be very well taken care of. But I’m still worrying. What if he’s lonely? What if he misses us? What if he thinks I’ve abandoned him? LagosDad has promised to take him to playgroup at least twice a week – so at least he’ll be getting out a little.

I’ve left Vin before – once when he was 15 months and once when he was 21 months. Each time I only went for a week. And that was pretty hard. While I loved being in London, and I loved being on my own, I had the feeling that something was missing. Like a part of me was missing.

London with Vins will be…. exciting interesting. I’m used to having either LagosDad, or the nanny or my mum around to help out. So this is a first for both of us. My sister will arrive four days after us – so she’ll be there to help! And also, thank God he’s decided he likes spaghetti and pizza now – so we have a couple more meal options!

I am so excited to get out of here and escape for a couple of weeks – but now that it’s all confirmed, the nerves have set in. What if Booni’s lonely? What if he misses us? What if he thinks I’ve abandoned him? (I know, I’ve said all this already) And… What if he forgets me??

 

 

We’re Starting Playgroup!

I knew a playgroup existed – I just didn’t really know anything about it.    That is, until I came back to Lagos when V was 12 weeks old (Come to think of it, I still don’t know much about it).  I was advised to put us down on the waiting list ASAP as it was quite long.

So, when Vinay was about 16 weeks, I made contact and we were officially on the waiting list.  He was six months old when we got to the top of that list.  Unfortunately, we were travelling that week for a couple of months and wouldn’t be able to attend.  They did say we could keep our place if Hub filled out all the paperwork and registered for us.  It never happened.  And we went to the bottom of the list.

This week, I got an email from them – and we got a place!  Hooray!

Having said that, I don’t really know what happens at these playgroups.  Are there organised activities?  Will I keep him entertained?  Will there be music and singing?  Am I going to be very disappointed?

I’m nervous (for me) and excited (for Vinay).  He’ll get to play with other children, discover a new environment and, maybe, become a little less shy.

I’m also terrified.  For both of us.

Is he going to catch something and get sick (and we all know how well I don’t cope when he’s ill)? 

Will the toys be clean?

Will he be very clingy and not want to do anything?

Will his routine be all messed up since he’ll probably miss his morning nap?

What if no one talks to me?

If someone does talk to me, are they going to ask me if he’s sleeping through the night (No, he’s not.  He still wakes for TWO feeds!)? 

Will I find my way to the correct part of the building (I have no sense of direction)?

What should I wear?

What should I take? 

What if he doesn’t do his morning poo before we leave, does it there and then stinks out the place?

What if he does his poo over there and then refuses to lie still on the changing table for me to clean him up?

IS there a changing table?

Oh dear God, I’m going to drive myself crazy over the weekend, aren’t I?