Making Friends

In our community, many married (and single) women don’t work.  They run their homes, go to the gym, book groups, lunches, teas and do charity work.  

Having said that, many of the ladies who *do* work manage to do all of the above as well.

I’m not judging.  I’m stating a fact.  If they’re happy, that’s great.  Each to his own.

But it’s never been for me.  Book groups, teas and lunches are just not my thing.  I’m happy to meet people – but I prefer small groups, with people I know quite well.

While I was teaching, I wasn’t able to go out to lunch with friends.  I couldn’t think of anything worse than coming home after a long day, getting ready and going out to tea.  Baby showers?  Really?  Did I really have to go?

And this is the reason why I am struggling today.

I did (and do) have friends, of course.  Some from school and some from our community.  We went out drinking and dancing every Saturday.  Our ‘group’ consisted of six of us.  Hub and me and four good friends.  They were (and still are) single.  We had some brilliant times!

But things are different now.

While I was in London awaiting the arrival of V, the other four kind of disbanded and started meeting and hanging with different people.  I don’t mind this at all. People change and sometimes you have to change your ‘group’ so that you’re comfortable with who you are.

However, Hub and I are wondering where we fit in now.

While we really enjoy and find nothing wrong with meeting our single friends, it has become more apparent that we have no married couple friends who are in the same phase in their lives as us.

What would happen if our best friend married and his wife wanted them to hang out with another ‘group’?  What would happen if one or both of the women in our group got married and moved (this happens a lot) to another country?

We *know* lots of married couples, but their groups are ‘tight’.  The wives are all fine on their own when it involves the children, etc.  We meet at the playground or birthday parties, and it’s all great.  

But with their husbands?  God forbid they should include anyone else in their weekend plans!

There are other groups and other people, of course.  But because I didn’t make too much of an effort before, it’s harder now.

So where do we go from here?  

Hub seems to think it’s my responsibility to make more of an effort, make friends and make plans.

In some ways I agree with him.  In others, I think, ‘wtf?!’

Whether I agree with him or not, is hardly the point though.  The point is that we *do* need to meet more people.  And we *do* need to make more and/or new friends.

The question is, how?