Bill, Please!

LagosDad and I took Vins out for an early dinner this evening.
Vins doesn’t usually speak to people he doesn’t know (or people he does know, for that matter). But today was amazing. Once we’d finished and ready to leave, I heard him mumble, “Bill please.” He repeated himself a couple of times but the waiter didn’t hear him.
I told Vins that he had to say “Excuse me” first and then to ask and to use his manners. And he did it! “Excuse me! Can we have the bill please?”
Unbelievable! I am so thrilled with him at the moment!

Introverted

V has always been a little quiet and reserved (but never at home).  He’s always been a bit nervous around new people, and never speaks to anyone he’s not comfortable with.  He’s very particular about a lot of things and I put that down to being a Virgo.

I’ve always called him ‘shy’.  And sometimes, ‘peculiar’.

My mil gets a little exasperated with him and his habits – she likes to tell me about what she thinks he should be like *eye roll*.  And although I sometimes think the same about certain things (especially when I see some other kids) – I will never admit it  to her.  I will defend him until my last breath!  I always say to her, ‘He is who he is and no one can change that.’  She doesn’t like that.

V and his personality take up a lot of my thinking time (and there is a lot of it), and I can’t help but wonder why he is the way he is.  Oh – my mil also thinks it could be because LagosDad and I are a bit ‘shy’ and ‘quiet’ and because we like to stay home a lot (I don’t even know where to start with this one – so it’s better I just bite my tongue!).

I came across an article on Facebook a few days ago, and it really helped me put my thoughts into perspective.  I think it’s even helped me to understand him a little more.  It’s called, Don’t Call Introverted Children ‘Shy’ by Susan Cain.

Please read it if you get a chance.  If your child/ren aren’t introverts, it will help you to better understand children that are.

Swimming

This summer we were in Bali for a month.  It was fabulous!  

While we were there I wrote a post about how Vinay wouldn’t try anything new and how it was annoying me – because I knew he’d like doing/eating those things.

After our holiday I wrote a post about how much progress he’d made during the few weeks we were away.

See the picture below?  That was him during our last week.  In the pool, in his arm bands without holding on to anyone.  Amazing.

Kuta-20120820-00092

LagosDad and I came back full of good intentions to take him swimming at *least* once a week.  To continue to build his confidence in the water.

Sadly, however, it just didn’t happen.  He was ill, I had to plan his birthday party, he started nursery, I was ill, he was ill again, I was ill again, it rained a lot.  All the usual excuses.

When two friends said they wanted to start swimming lessons with their kids and would Vinay join, I jumped at the chance.  YES!

I prepared V for what was coming.  I told him over and over again that we were going swimming with his friends and he was quite excited about it.  Until we got in the car.  That’s when he repeated over and over again, ‘Mama no.  No swimming.’

As far as I was concerned, the boy was getting in the pool – whether he liked it or not.

The first lesson – he watched for about twenty minutes before changing and eventually getting in for about five minutes.

The second lesson – he watched, but cried the whole time and refused to get in.  I hate to admit that I took him in for a few minutes anyway – even though he was crying.

Later that week I took him to the pool with my friend and her son.  Again, he refused to get changed or get in and I didn’t force him.

Last Saturday the swimming lesson was cancelled, but LagosDad took him to the pool anyway.  I was busy at another bazaar.  

I was a bit relieved, actually.  I don’t think I could have taken any more of his screaming.

They came to see me at the bazaar after swimming and Vinay was talking about going swimming with his Papa.  Apparently they’d had the most fantastic time playing in the pool.

EH?

So he swam with LagosDad, but wouldn’t even get changed with me?!

What’s that all about?

I have three theories.

1. It’s a boy thing – he doesn’t spend much time with LagosDad during the week, so this was a bonding thing…

2. He’s quite shy and nervous (as I’ve said before) and didn’t feel confident enough to swim with so many other people around… (There were at least 3 – 6 other people about during our previous sessions).

3. It’s just me…

We’ve promised ourselves that we’ll take him every week and make it a family thing without a whole bunch of other people around.  

Fingers crossed!