This Is What I Do!

I’m a teacher.

I’ve always taught. My degree is in Teaching Studies with English Language and Linguistics. I left university and went straight into a school in London. I was there for four years and then moved back to Lagos. I taught at an international school in Lagos for six years.

During those ten years, I did various courses. CELTA, SEN, ADHD, etc. Some were online and some were evenings and weekends. I became the SENCo (special needs coordinator) at the school in Lagos (where I was for six years).

I’d like to think that I’m quite well qualified!

I took a break once Vins was born. A five year break. Bit long, yes. But I think I needed it.

I tried to start my own business (selling baby and toddler shoes and clothing). My heart wasn’t in it. So I started tutoring. Kids either came to me, or I went to them for a couple of hours a week. I enjoyed it, but it got a bit boring with only the one child each time. I explained to LagosDad that education is what I “do”, and what I do well. And then I got pregnant with Booni.

Once we came back from London, I started getting a little involved in Vins’ classroom activities – story time, Diwali presentations, etc. And I remembered how much I LOVE teaching and how much I LOVE being in the classroom.

So I thought I’d start substituting. I’ve written about this before

So now I’m substituting in the school that Vins attends. I love it, and it’s a very good school. One of the best in Lagos (depending on who you’re asking).

Anyway, so the point of this whole thing is…

Each time someone asks me (or my ins or whoever) what I’m doing now, and I explain I’ve gone back to school, they’re all like, ‘Oh that’s nice.’ And they ask if I’m back at my previous school. I say no, and I tell them which school I’m in. And all of a sudden I get a flurry of ‘Oh WOW!’ and ‘Congratulations!’ and ‘That’s amazing!’

Umm – Hello?

Is it not amazing that I spent four years getting qualified? Is it not amazing that I taught for ten years before taking a break? Is it not amazing that I was head of the special needs department?

I mean, I’m only a substitute at the moment.

And last week one of my MIL’s friends said, ‘Oh that’s good. It’s good “time pass”‘. I have been told this for YEARS. First I was ‘passing time’ until I got married. Then I was ‘passing time’ until we had children (once people got over the shock that I decided to continue working after marriage). So what am I doing now? Passing time until what?

FFS. THIS IS WHAT I DO!

Rant over.

 

Mind Your Own Business

I was chatting with a friend (via BB) on Friday evening – it was his last night as a single man and he was feeling a bit excited and nervous about the ‘Big Day’.

I can’t remember how it came up, but I told him that once the wedding is over, everyone will start bothering him and his wife (his wife more) about when they’re going to have a baby.  He is expecting this and is kind of (I think) mentally prepared to fend people off.  Although this is difficult when it’s an ‘elder’ in your family.

(One of Hub’s aunts told me that she hoped to hear ‘good news’ after our honeymoon!)

Soon-to-be-married-friend asked me if that line of questioning and badgering continues even after you have your first child.  

My response: Fecking hell – YES.

People were asking me after three months if we were planning a second child!

An aunt has said (on more than one occasion), ‘Well, if you’re not working – you may as well get it over and done with.’  I smiled politely and muttered something about not being ready yet.  But what I WANTED to say shout was, ‘F*ck off!  It’s really none of your business!  Go and worry about whether your own children are having babies.’  (Yes, I was angry)

Insensitive ‘friend’ has said (more than once), ‘Don’t you think it’s time for a second?’  With the sole intention of winding me up (I’m sorry to say he succeeded).

Yes, yes – We *will* have another child (God willing).  Maybe even two (Hub doesn’t know that yet)!  I realise I’m not getting any younger (34 next year), and we kind of have to start thinking/talking about it…

So what’s bothering me?  

IS IT ANYONE’S BUSINESS?  

Do they seriously have nothing else to talk to me about?  Or do they think I have nothing else to talk about?  Shouldn’t they think before asking such insensitive questions?  What if we are trying (we’re not) and having difficulty?  

What’s wrong with enjoying every second I can with the child I already have?  

And does it really matter if there’s two or three or more years between the children?  There’s five between my sister and I and six between me and my brother.  It wasn’t planned that way, but I think it’s worked rather well…  Only my parents could tell you.

Anyway, rant over.  

What do you think?  Should friends and family members be more sensitive when asking such ridiculous questions?  Should they be able to ask what they want since they *are* friends and family?