Karma Bit Me

As I mentioned previously, I don’t want to be one of *those* mums.  

I don’t want to to call school all the time because I’m worried about Vinay.  

I don’t want the teachers to snigger behind my back because of my anxiousness.  I don’t want them inwardly groaning when they see me coming.  Or even worse, hide in a colleague’s classroom in order to avoid me completely.  

I know that teachers do these things.  

And the reason I know is because I have done all of the above.  At least once.  *ashamed face*

Ohhh how I wish I could take back the eye rolls that were directed towards the mother who wanted her child to drink half a bottle of water before eating.  I have to admit, I’m not that bad – but the first thing I do when I pick him up is take out his water bottle for him to have a drink!

Ohhh how I wish I understood then why the mums had to hug their children every morning when they dropped them off.  We are not at the ‘hugging goodbye’ stage yet.  We are at the ‘scoop up child and take him inside while he’s crying’ stage.

Ohhh how I wish I hadn’t laughed at the mother who paced up and down outside the classroom twenty minutes before school finished.  That was me on Monday.  I was thirty minutes early to pick him up.  

Ohhh how I wish I hadn’t groaned every day when the same mum asked me what we had done that day.  I so want to know what V does in school – I want every minute accounted for – from 8.45am – 12.30pm.

I remember sighing everyday when it was time to write in the children’s ‘Communication Book’.  I wish his nursery had such a thing!

I remember groaning at the start of every term when I had to do my ‘Welcome/Topics We’re Covering Letter’ for parents.  I wish his teachers had to write them!

I remember the frustration of most teachers when parents would just pop in and out of classrooms at the beginning and end of the day.  We are not allowed into the building.  I do not know where Vinay’s classroom is or what it looks like.  I don’t know where he sits and I don’t know if any of his work is displayed on the walls.  Is that because we’re only three days into the term and they want the children to settle first?

It’s karma.  It has come and bitten me on the ass.

And I am in danger of turning into one of *those* mums!



Nursery: Days 1, 2 and 3

Vinay started nursery on Monday.  Between his birthday, his party this weekend and about 4 other birthday parties we have to attend, I didn’t get a chance to become too nervous before he started.

He was very happy to get ready and go on his first morning.


We met his teacher when we arrived and he sensed something was up, because he started clinging to my leg.  The teacher tried to get him to go and play, which he was reluctant to do.  She kept telling me to leave as soon as possible, because the longer I was there, the harder it was going to be for him.  I was only hanging around because I needed to see someone in the office!  After finishing in the office, I spotted V on the swings – he was quite happy.  So I left.  Without saying goodbye.  I felt so guilty!

It was the longest three hours!  I picked up LagosDad from home, dropped him at work and ran some errands.  That didn’t take too long and I didn’t know what to do with myself for the rest of the time!

V was very happy to see me when I went to pick him up and his teacher said he cried a lot, but settled after a while.  

I asked him lots of questions about what he did…

Me: Vinay – did you cry at school?

V: No – other babies (other babies were crying?)

Me: Did you eat your snack?

V: Dentyne! (his word for yogurt (!))

Me: Did you draw pictures?

V: No – other babies

Me: Who changed your nappy?

V: Aunty

Me: Did you have fun?

V: Yes

I immediately started talking about him going back the next day, and he was happy.

On Tuesday morning, he was excited to get dressed and go.  A good sign!


As soon as we arrived, his teacher scooped him up and took him inside (while he was crying) and I was told to leave.  

How could they?  How could they just tell me to go and leave him?  

I am desperate not to be one of *those* mums – one of those anxious, neurotic mums that I’ve come across while teaching.  One of those mums I rolled my eyes at (after they had gone).  So I left.  

As on Monday, I picked up and dropped off LagosDad and ran errands.  

I had so many things to do at home, but I played games on my iPad and checked the time every five minutes.

V was perfectly fine when I picked him up.  His teacher said he didn’t cry for long and settled soon.  The owner said he was fine, but preferred to be out in the playground rather than in the classroom.  She also said that it was quite normal as he wasn’t used to the structure/routine.

My conversation with Vinay was pretty much the same as the day before.  

This morning (Wednesday), he was reluctant to get dressed.  He only agreed because he wanted to go in the car.  But he was quiet and seemed a little nervous.


It was raining quite heavily, so instead of parking outside and walking in, the gates to the nursery were wide open and the cars could drive right in.  As soon as we were in the drive, I opened the door and one of the helpers came out, picked Vinay up, took his bag from me and disappeared inside.  I could hear him screaming, ‘Mama! Mama!’ from outside.  

I didn’t know what to do, so I got back in the car and left.

The owner of the school messaged me to say he wasn’t crying and she sent me a picture of him playing.

Thirty minutes until pick-up time.

Why is it going so slowly?


There are a number of nursery options here, and anyone you speak to has an opinion on one or more of them.  Some of them accept children at 18 months, some at 20 months and one or two at 24 months.

A few months ago, mums with children the same age as V started asking if I’d been to see any nurseries.  One or two of them had been to see several and I started feeling the pressure!  Some of them are in quite high-demand and waiting lists are long…

I went to visit one.  And I loved it.  And decided that V was going to go there.  Why bother looking at the others when this one is so close to home?  I won’t have to sit in traffic crossing the bridge twice a day!

Hub went to visit it, got a tour and he really liked it too.  We registered with them and decided that V would start in April when he’s 19 months old.  He would be dropped off at 8.30 every morning and picked up at 12.30 every afternoon.  No problem.

But recently, over the last month or so, I’ve started questioning whether this is the right thing to do for him.  Nursery is the right thing (although I’m aware many would disagree).  But I’m wondering about whether he might be too young still…

He can’t talk yet – how would he make his needs known?

He’s still a little insecure – would he stay for four hours without me or another adult he’s happy with?

And…  I don’t think he’s ready.  Although a lot could change in the next couple of months.

I told Hub I think it would be better for him to go to playgroup for a year.  I’d be with him, but can keep my distance and he would slowly become more confident.  And he could start nursery in September when he’s nearly two.

Hub thinks I’m being too anxious.

Eighteen months is *very* young.  Isn’t it?  

Would love any advice you have…