You know I used to be a smoker, right?
I’ve been a non-smoker once before, but stupidly started again.
However, I’ve stopped again 🙂 It’s been about three months now. Yay me!
Anyway, so I know I’m 35 years old – and I know it’s ridiculous, but for me and in my community, smoking and smoking in front of your elders is an absolute no-no. Especially if you’re a girl. And no matter how old you are!
In fact, it doesn’t seem to matter if you’re a boy. My brother smokes in front of my parents all the time – and they NEVER say anything to him.
I started smoking when I was 15. I am absolutely positive that at some point in my fifteen years as a smoker (and then during the twenty months when I started again) my parents knew I smoked. I’m sure they could smell it on me each time I came home.
When confronted, my reaction was always the same – deny, deny, deny.
So during my last few trips to Dubai (to stay with my parents), sneaking out for a cigarette was really difficult. And it wasn’t just them – it was V as well. I didn’t want to smoke in front of him.
Usually, when I’m here without LagosDad (he only comes for part of the time) it’s more difficult. I spend all day with my mum. And even if we weren’t together for a few minutes here or there – I didn’t want her to smell smoke on me!
It actually became quite stressful. She would get on my nerves, I’d need a cigarette, I couldn’t have a cigarette, I’d get grumpy, cranky and desperate.
I’d do whatever I could to spend a few hours by myself (almost impossible), just so I could have a cigarette.
Every evening I would beg my sister to come out for a drink, just so I could have a cigarette or four. Sometimes I wouldn’t even want to go out – but I made myself!
I know it sounds silly – a grown woman having to go through all this just to have a cigarette – but it’s just what happened. And as I said before – it was stressful!
I’m in Dubai at the moment, and you know what?
I don’t have any of those issues anymore.
It is such a relief not to have the added stress of trying to get away from everyone to smoke!