Vins is going through a stage where a plaster is the solution to every injury. It doesn’t matter if it’s a bump or a scrape or anything. It doesn’t matter if we can see any blood or not. They seem to have some sort of magical healing powers that I don’t know about!

Last Sunday he had an accident on the trampoline. He and a friend were jumping on it together, and they collided. Her head went into his face and chaos ensued.

His bruise came up immediately.








And the next day, it looked worse.








Later that day (Monday) he came to me, rubbing his eye, and said, “Mama, my eye is really hurting. Should I get a plaster?”

I looked at him and said, “What’s hurting you?”

He replied, “My eye, mama! It’s hurting. I think I need a plaster.”

I said, “Vins, which part of your eye is hurting?”

(Are you confused yet? It was a bizarre conversation. All will be revealed soon!)

He got a bit exasperated and said, “Mama! My bruise! My bruise is hurting! I need a plaster. Should I go get one?”

I just stared at him for a few seconds and said, “Vins, you’re rubbing the wrong eye. Your bruise is on the other eye!”

He looked a bit sheepish and said, “Oh. I don’t need a plaster then.”




I took a really good look at V this afternoon as we walked out the school gates.

Me: V, didn’t you have PE today?
V: Yes.
Me: But why aren’t you wearing your PE clothes? You wore them to school this morning.
V: I had to change.
Me: Oh. Why?
V: Because you know XXX? He did a poo and it came on me.
Me: Huh? HOW?
V: He did a poo when he went down the slide and I didn’t know and then I went down and poo came onto my shorts and my T-shirt and one of my shoes. So my teacher changed my clothes and the new teacher cleaned my shoe.
Me: Oh no!
V: But it’s ok Mama. The lights on my shoes still work! See? *stamps foot on the ground*