Category: Stuff

A Complete Family

LagosMumLeave a comment

At a recent party, many people asked me if I knew the sex of the baby. I was very happy to say, “Yes! It’s a boy!” Almost everyone congratulated me and made a comment about having 3 boys, which is fine – I know people want to know, but then don’t know what to say when you tell them.

But two people’s responses irritated me.

The first person (a woman younger than me) said, “Oh no! Are you disappointed?” I said to her, “No. Are you disappointed that you have two girls?”

And the other person (also a woman younger than me) said, “Oh no! I’m so sorry! You know they say the family isn’t complete unless you have a boy and a girl.” Apart from the fact that she was spitting all over me while speaking, I really was at a loss for words. Finally, I said to her, “We didn’t choose to have a baby because we decided to try for a girl. We chose to have a baby because we wanted to have another child.”

A family being complete with one boy and one girl (or more than two children, but having both sexes) is a conversation that I’ve had with my mother-in-law (and some of her friends) time and time again. And time and time again, I’ve tried to make her (them) understand – that the idea of a ‘complete’ family is what the parents want it to be! Whether it’s one child, two boys, 5 girls – WHATEVER. And that it’s a choice (and sometimes not a choice) made between partners and has nothing to do with anyone else, and why would anyone even feel the need to comment on it?

This backward, archaic way of thinking really bothers me, and gets me really worked up. I mean… We’re in 2022, for God’s sake.

So for the last two weeks when I’ve thought about these comments from these two young women, I’ve been trying to put my finger on why it’s been bothering me this much. And I think I’ve realized. I’ve spent so many years battling with my mother-in-law, trying to make her (and her friends) see sense, to make them understand that we’ve moved on, and that they should move on, from this old-fashioned, traditional way of thinking – only to realize… We haven’t. What hope do we have of changing how our parents’ generation think if our own generation thinks the same way?

Anyway – rant over.

The Third Baby

LagosMumLeave a comment

When Booni was a few months old, I told LagosDad that I wanted another baby (I must have been out of my mind). He said ‘no way’ right away. But I kind of tried to persuade him a few times over the next couple of years.

The thing is, even though I kept telling him I wanted a baby, I wasn’t sure if I did. I just kept saying I did.

Booni is 4.5, and Vins 8.5 – they’ve both grown up so much. We’ve gone on nice holidays together – just the four of us, enjoyed days out and kind of get along a bit better now. We are just getting our lives back really, aren’t we?

We spent the long weekend with friends. Some of them have babies, some 1 and 2 year olds. I look at them, and I think, ‘Ohhh, so cute!’ But I’m also thinking, ‘THANK God I’m past that stage!’

Having said that, the third baby is coming. Our new puppy is arriving next week!

Rainbow Bridge

LagosMumLeave a comment

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

Author unknown

RIP Rolo (2004 – 2018)

rolo

 

Here I Am!

LagosMumLeave a comment

Goodness! It’s been two months since my last post!

There are a few reasons for this…

  1. I’ve not really had the time
  2. I’ve not really been motivated to write
  3. I feel as though I don’t really have anything new to say (especially if I’m writing about my children)

Anyway, so I need to give you a very overdue update on a couple of things.

The first is the whole fridge mess thing with Konga. Remember that? It was another one of my whiny posts.

Anyway, the whole fridge thing was sorted out – thanks to a lady called Mercy. She responded to my tweets about the whole thing and made sure I was a satisfied Konga customer. Thank you, Mercy!

The second is about my experience at Oasis Medspa. They rang me the following day for feedback, and they came across my blog post about it. They were very apologetic about it all and sent me a voucher for a complimentary facial and massage :))) (That’s all my chins). Both treatments were lovely and, apart from the slight smell on the towels (still), I’ve no complaints. Thank you, Oasis Medspa!

I’ve got a couple of other things to tell you guys (nothing terribly exciting, try and contain yourselves), but I’ll update you in a bit. Maybe in a few minutes since my kids (at school) are taking a quiz!

A Morning at Oasis Medspa

LagosMum2 Comments

For Christmas, LagosDad gave me a gift certificate for Oasis Medspa in Ikoyi. I hadn’t been there before, and hadn’t heard too much about it either. I asked a few people about it, but no one really knew much about it. Anyway, so my gift certificate was for “The Ultimate Glow Package”, which was a body scrub and massage. I love a good body scrub! The expiration date was January 21st, so I thought I’d use it today – before the chaos of school starts next week.

I made my appointment for 10 am (my preferred time of 12 pm wasn’t available) and got there ten minutes early.

The place is really nice. The decor is all blue and white and (apart from a few tacky bits and pieces) it was very clean and relaxing.

They open at 10 am and, as I said before, my appointment was at 10 am. Now, you tell me – if you open for customers/clients/the public at 10 am – shouldn’t everything be ready by then? Apparently not. Not here, anyway. They turned on the generator after I got there. The cleaning people started sweeping and mopping while I was waiting for my appointment. And some of the people that worked there arrived at 10 am. I don’t know – but I look at it like being in a school. If lessons start at 7.30 am and all students are expected to be in class and at their desks, doesn’t the teacher have to be in earlier to get things sorted before that? Oh well.

So I was taken to a large room by the lady that was doing my scrub. There were two massage beds in there and I thought I’d have to just strip and lie on one of the beds for my scrub. But no. The lady told me to strip and put on one of their robes. As I put it on, I caught a faint smell of something. I sniffed the robe and it was gross. I can’t really describe the smell – but it was as though it was left in the washing machine for too long after the cycle ended. She then took me into a shower room (complete with gold tiles on the walls) and made me lie down on a concrete shower bench. You know what I mean? It was covered in a rubber sheet, and it was quite narrow. Apart from that, though – it was so hard! And it wasn’t very comfortable. It was strange – but I saw how it made sense. It minimized the mess and cleaning up after. And I was already in the shower room for when I had to rinse off.

The body scrub was good, but I couldn’t wait to wash all that gunk off me. It gets stuck EVERYWHERE! When she finished, she showed me the shower gel and told me how to work the shower. She then disappeared. I was pleasantly surprised to find the the water pressure was strong and started to rinse myself off. I was under the shower for 30 seconds (no lie) and the water ran out! WTF. I stood there, butt naked and called out MANY times – but there was no one there to hear me. Five minutes later, the lady came back in with a towel for me to dry myself with. She asked if I was ready. Err… Not quite. She was very apologetic and told someone to put the water pump on. I was actually ready to go home by this time. I finished showering, took the towel she left for me and started to dry myself. But there was that smell again! I finished by patting myself dry, wrapped the towel around myself and put the smelly robe back on. I was still damp, but was then walked down the corridor to another room where another lady was going to do my massage.

The masseuse told me to take off my gown and lie on the massage bed face down. There was no face hole. Instead of using a clean, fresh sheet to cover me with, she used the SAME DAMP (smelly) TOWEL I had used to dry myself with! Jesus Christ.

Now, I have to admit – the massage was very good. I enjoyed it thoroughly (apart from that lingering smell).

The whole treatment took about 90 minutes. And I’m glad I did it. My skin feels amazing. I would go back for another massage – but I would probably take my own towel/sheet for them to use!

Konga Fail

LagosMum1 Comment

So it seems that I don’t have much luck shopping online over here… Keep reading for a long and ranty post!

We needed a new fridge. LagosDad told me to look online and check out what was available.

I spent a week looking at various options and decided on one particular one, which I found on konga.com. I got LagosDad’s approval. He told me to get Mil and Fil’s approval. I sent them the link. Neither of them replied to my Whatsapp message (no surprise, really). Finally, LagosDad told me to just go ahead and order it.

I ordered and paid and the fridge arrived a week later (through a third party seller – RCT). I was in school at the time, but LagosDad messaged to say that it was really small and that I should return it and get a refund. This was December 1. When I got home, I saw the carton and realized that yes, it is too small. Did I measure? No. So how on earth did I know what size fridge I was buying? Don’t ask. I thought I knew what I was doing.

Anyway, so that very day I emailed Konga and I rang them and explained that I’d made a mistake and that I wanted to return the fridge.

Ugh, you know what… This is going to take too long. I’m going to copy and paste an email that I just sent them…

“Needless to say I am very disappointed by this decision. I have seen the return policy. I have also looked at other items by RCT on Konga and NO WHERE does it state their return/refund policy.

I have admitted that I made an error when I ordered the item. I ordered the wrong size. But again, no dimensions were put on the seller’s page. Perhaps that should have been my first clue.

HOWEVER, I contacted Konga on the day of delivery (December 1) to request a return/refund. I emailed and I spoke with someone on the phone. I received an email confirmation to this effect. 
I spoke to Konga the next day (December 2) as well. I was assured that the seller had been contacted and that someone would get back to me.
On Monday (December 5) the seller contacted me to say I had had the item for more than three days so that they would not accept a return/refund. WHY DID THEY WAIT FOUR DAYS TO CONTACT ME?
I spoke with Konga again after that. On the Monday and on Wednesday (December 7) and again, I was assured that the seller had been contacted.
And then last night I received an email to say that the seller had declined my appeal for a return/refund because the item is not defective. 
So, please tell me – what does their policy state? They knew the item was not defective when they were first contacted. But they didn’t state that as their reason for not accepting a return. They said that I’d had the item for more than three days. And now they’re saying that they won’t accept it because it’s not defective?
PLEASE clear this up for me. 
I am very upset about this.”
I’m so angry about this right now. I don’t know if anything will come of this back and forth email exchange, but I have to try at least.
Meanwhile, if anyone wants a 212L Samsung single-door fridge, it’s NGN100,000.
Update: After Konga saw this post on Twitter, they rang me up and said they had a resolution. I could exchange my fridge with another item from the same seller. She told me that they had a chest freezer which was larger. I told her that this would not work as I ordered a fridge, not a freezer – and that I didn’t want a freezer.

Starting Again

LagosMum3 Comments

As you already know, I’ve started teaching full-time again. And… I love it!

One of the things that I was looking forward to, was the fact that I’d be too busy to eat everything I could get my hands on!

Seriously – I’ve exercised five times in the last YEAR! Four times in August and once in September. And that’s it.

Every day I eat two boiled eggs for breakfast and I take food to school with me – a small box of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes, a small box of carrot sticks, an apple and some chicken salad. It’s enough to see me through the day, right? Apparently not.

So I need the Crunchy Nut and the carrot sticks for while I’ve got my prep periods – you know, something to munch on while I’m grading or planning, or whatever. But that usually means that it’s all gone by 8.30 am.

Anyway, so just my luck – the cafeteria is right next door to my classroom. RIGHT NEXT DOOR.

Bistro 7 caters for the school. This is great for them. But not for me. Have you ever had their chocolate brownies? TO DIE FOR!

Anyway, so at 9.30 every morning, in to the cafeteria I go – whether I’m hungry or not and I have a chocolate brownie. It’s reached a point where the staff don’t even ask me what I want anymore – they just hand me the brownie and I hand them a N500 note. It’s also reached a point where my colleagues take the piss out of me!

But that’s not all. So I have the brownie. And then two hours later – during my lunch period, I have my chicken salad (it’s good – but it’s become boring). And then I’ll go back to the cafeteria and get French fries (they are SO good). JESUS CHRIST – WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Again, the staff just know what I want!

Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad if I had to walk down three floors to get there and then three more floors to go back to my classroom – but no. NEXT DOOR!

Needless to say, although I know I’m not doing myself any favours, I keep on eating. A couple of weeks ago I decided enough was enough and I didn’t want to keep eating the brownies and the fries. So I decided to go back on Cambridge Weight Plan. I did so well on it last year… But stuff kept getting in the way – dinners with friends at the weekend, drinks with colleagues on a Friday afternoon, brownies in the cafeteria next door…

I decided half-term was a perfect time to start. I wanted to go to the CWP centre on Friday to get all my shakes and soups sorted so I could start on Monday. But Friday was a half-day at school and a large glass of red wine with colleagues put a stop to that plan. So I decided to go on Saturday – but they close early on Saturdays and I couldn’t make it on time. So I went yesterday (Monday).

I walked into the centre and the lady there had to weigh me. And I’m ashamed to say that I’ve put on four (FOUR) kilos since April. WTAF? To be fair, I did go in the middle of the day – so maybe I’ve only put on 3?

Anyway, so I’ve started Cambridge Weight Plan again today. It should be relatively painless (yeah right) this week – but once I start back at school…

Oh well – let’s see!

I’m Still Here!

LagosMumLeave a comment

I know, I know.

For those of you who missed me – I’m so sorry!

I don’t even know where to begin…

So, we spent the summer in Dubai with my parents. My kids were so happy – we swam every morning (it was too hot in the afternoons) and spent most of the day in various play areas.

The kids hadn’t met my parents or sister for over a year, and my brother, sister and I hadn’t been together for four years – so it was lovely to all spend time together.

School started at the beginning of August.

I’m loving being back at work. But I’m also feeling a bit like a headless chicken. I’m trying to balance time with the children and time at work, as well as time with LagosDad and fitting in other stuff. I’m not managing too well, actually. School seems to be winning!

I feel guilty that I’m not always home when my kids might need me. I feel guilty that they might not be getting enough attention from me. And I feel guilty that I’m not spending much time with them. On the other hand, it’s great to be able to be doing something for me.

Anyway… More soon.

🙂

I Should Have Stayed At Home

LagosMumLeave a comment

This morning I had to go to Spar. If you know me, you will know that I HATE grocery shopping. But, you know, someone’s got to do it.

We needed a new iron and a few other things.

Anyway, got there and went upstairs. Chose the iron (bought two (don’t ask)) and paid for them upstairs. I went down to the supermarket area, got a trolley and proceeded to start dumping things in.

I got to the till, the checkout girl scanned everything and someone else packed it all for me. And… My card didn’t work. Actually, it wasn’t my card that didn’t work – it was their POS machine thingy. No network, apparently. She tried from three different machines and it didn’t work. They asked me to use the ATM outside to withdraw some cash and then come back to pay. There was a lady in the other queue who said she’d just been to that ATM and it didn’t work.

They then suggested that I go across the street to the bank and withdraw the money from the ATM over there.

I became a bit irate. You see, you’d think it was so simple to just ‘go across the street’ and get some cash. But it’s so much more complicated! I said to the checkout girl, ‘So I’ve spent one hour in this store, your POS machines aren’t working, so I have to leave all my things here, go across the street, withdraw the cash and then come back and pay?’ I was beginning to regret leaving the house. She replies, ‘I can’t let you take the shopping without paying.’ FFS – I never said I wanted 10,000 NGN worth of groceries for free! The lady behind me in the queue offered to lend me the cash. A great big thank you to her, if she ever reads this. But I couldn’t accept that (even though I’d have paid her back).

Anyway, so I had to just suck it up and go to GTB across the road. There are three ATMs outside the branch and NONE of them were dispensing cash. So off I went inside – to the second floor (no lift), stood in line and then managed to withdraw my money. Got back into the car. Had to go round again (irritating even though I wasn’t driving) and went back to Spar.

They wouldn’t let me in through the exit ((near the tills)I understand they have security policies and stuff in place, but I wasn’t about to rob the place, ffs), so I went in through the entrance and had to walk through the whole store again.

I realise this is hardly a big deal, and I feel ridiculous even writing about it. But I can’t understand how something like this can happen! How can none of the ATMs work? How can NONE of the POS thingies work? I wasted a good forty minutes in total. Forty minutes I could have spent at home. Alone. In peace.

I’m guessing that the whole problem was through GTB. Hopefully they’ve sorted themselves out by now.

This Is What I Do!

LagosMum3 Comments

I’m a teacher.

I’ve always taught. My degree is in Teaching Studies with English Language and Linguistics. I left university and went straight into a school in London. I was there for four years and then moved back to Lagos. I taught at an international school in Lagos for six years.

During those ten years, I did various courses. CELTA, SEN, ADHD, etc. Some were online and some were evenings and weekends. I became the SENCo (special needs coordinator) at the school in Lagos (where I was for six years).

I’d like to think that I’m quite well qualified!

I took a break once Vins was born. A five year break. Bit long, yes. But I think I needed it.

I tried to start my own business (selling baby and toddler shoes and clothing). My heart wasn’t in it. So I started tutoring. Kids either came to me, or I went to them for a couple of hours a week. I enjoyed it, but it got a bit boring with only the one child each time. I explained to LagosDad that education is what I “do”, and what I do well. And then I got pregnant with Booni.

Once we came back from London, I started getting a little involved in Vins’ classroom activities – story time, Diwali presentations, etc. And I remembered how much I LOVE teaching and how much I LOVE being in the classroom.

So I thought I’d start substituting. I’ve written about this before…

So now I’m substituting in the school that Vins attends. I love it, and it’s a very good school. One of the best in Lagos (depending on who you’re asking).

Anyway, so the point of this whole thing is…

Each time someone asks me (or my ins or whoever) what I’m doing now, and I explain I’ve gone back to school, they’re all like, ‘Oh that’s nice.’ And they ask if I’m back at my previous school. I say no, and I tell them which school I’m in. And all of a sudden I get a flurry of ‘Oh WOW!’ and ‘Congratulations!’ and ‘That’s amazing!’

Umm – Hello?

Is it not amazing that I spent four years getting qualified? Is it not amazing that I taught for ten years before taking a break? Is it not amazing that I was head of the special needs department?

I mean, I’m only a substitute at the moment.

And last week one of my MIL’s friends said, ‘Oh that’s good. It’s good “time pass”‘. I have been told this for YEARS. First I was ‘passing time’ until I got married. Then I was ‘passing time’ until we had children (once people got over the shock that I decided to continue working after marriage). So what am I doing now? Passing time until what?

FFS. THIS IS WHAT I DO!

Rant over.