I’m a bit confused as to what to do.
It’s V, you see.
Ok – let me explain first… He goes to nursery every day for four hours. He loves it. It’s taken him a little while, but he now participates fully (almost) in all activities and, according to his teacher, is doing well.
His school day finishes at 12.30pm and then we have a looooong afternoon ahead of us. What to do? Let’s keep in mind that just chilling at home isn’t always the best option as we’re often without power and it’s hot!
So what to do with him? How to keep him entertained in ways that don’t involve the television or the iPad?
What most parents do here is get a group of kids together (3 or 4 of them) and organise afternoon classes for them. Gymnastics, swimming, hip hop dance, art and craft, cooking. There is a lot going on.
At the moment V does Hip Hop on a Monday (he’s been twice and has only watched so far), gymnastics on a Tuesday (his participation level depends on his mood), on a Wednesday he does cooking. He loves this class, but his teacher travels often. She’s been away since December and won’t be back until May. So Wednesdays are open at the moment. He also won’t eat anything he’s made unless it’s chocolatey. On Thursdays he does Art and Craft – he loves these classes too. And on Fridays he stays home.
I know some of you must be wondering why I keep him so busy. And when does he get a chance to do ‘children’s things’. And why don’t I do things with him? Why don’t I just take him to the park? Why not organise play dates for him?
So here’s the thing.
First of all, the classes are only for an hour. Secondly, even though he goes to nursery every day – the children he does these classes with all go to different schools. He’s still quiet and a bit reserved and I want him to spend more time with other children. I could do stuff with him, of course I can – but I’m tutoring twice a week, he misses out on being with other children, and I’m struggling a bit with this pregnancy. As for the park or other places to go… We’re a bit limited here. Playdates? That could work. But most of the children he would meet are in all the classes he does!
So, just to be clear – I’m not confused about his classes – as you read, that’s all sorted.
My problem is… V.
He loves art and craft. He loves cooking class. A friend of mine is homeschooling her son this year and V sometimes joins in their lessons – and he loves them.
He does not, however, like dance or gymnastics. I thought about trying football – but he’s not interested in that.
So what do I do? Do I pull him out of those classes? Even though I know he would benefit greatly from taking part. But he doesn’t enjoy them.
At the moment there are no other options for him on a Monday or Tuesday. And there’s no cooking classes until May – so that means he’s home on Wednesdays too. Don’t get me wrong – he LIKES being at home. And he likes being alone.
But I feel that he should be with other children more often.
I’ve realised that he’s one of those children that enjoys doing ‘learning things’, rather than ‘active things’. And maybe he probably won’t be an ‘all-rounder’. And that’s fine with me. He is who he is.
So what should I do? Force him to go and hope that he might eventually want to take part? I feel so silly stressing about it when he’s only three-and-a-half.
The Diary of a Lagos Mum 
out of curiosity. Does V get to interact with any Nigerian children at all? Or are all these classes strictly for children “in your community”? If he doesn’t, then maybe you can look for opportunities outside of that circle that will keep him occupied?
Hi and thanks for your comment. Yes, V does interact with Nigerian children. I think the majority of his class are Nigerian.
I’m very happy for him to mix with any children – his after school activities are also international – not just children from our community.
In his school there is only one other child from our community – which is why I wanted him to spend more time with children from our community outside of school.
I hope that makes sense?
Boy, Lily is soooo neglected! She doesn’t do half the amount of things V does. I really wouldn’t worry if he is spending a day or two doing nothing. If he really dislikes the classes that he doesn’t participate in, I would pull him out from them.
It sounds like he is engaging in a fantastic amount of activities, and he will be benefiting greatly from them.
You have given him an amazing opportunity to engage with his peers, so don’t feel that you need to give him more.
I think the children living in different countries means they have very different experiences!
After talking to LagosDad and V’s teacher, I’ve decided to pull him out of those classes. He’s happy at home, so why force the issue. Also, I don’t want him to end up hating gymnastics or dance!
He prefers to be alone than with other children, so maybe it’s better he’s with others in an environment he’s comfortable in?
So many thoughts swirling around in my head!!
You are doing the right thing for V. If he’s a solitary little soul, then that’s not a bad thing. He has shown you that he does enjoy some of the other activities, so concentrating on that for a while will help him come out of his shell more quickly. It’s good that he knows his own mind.
I don’t do any classes with The Boy but then he’s in school from 9-3.30 and I work part-time. When he comes home from school he’s shattered. However, if we had the same timetable as you then I think we would do a lot more classes as well. I think you should persevere at the moment, because he can’t always work out after only a few sessions whether he’d really like them. The Boy is also a learning activity person, he couldn’t just sit and play or run around randomly.
Have started phonics with him twice a week now. He enjoys those lessons a lot too! Going to register him for gymnastics as an after school activity next term. I think that May be better for him.