You know I used to be a smoker, right?

I’ve been a non-smoker once before, but stupidly started again.

However, I’ve stopped again 🙂  It’s been about three months now.  Yay me!

Anyway, so I know I’m 35 years old – and I know it’s ridiculous, but for me and in my community, smoking and smoking in front of your elders is an absolute no-no.  Especially if you’re a girl.  And no matter how old you are!

In fact, it doesn’t seem to matter if you’re a boy.  My brother smokes in front of my parents all the time – and they NEVER say anything to him.

I started smoking when I was 15.  I am absolutely positive that at some point in my fifteen years as a smoker (and then during the twenty months when I started again) my parents knew I smoked.  I’m sure they could smell it on me each time I came home.

When confronted, my reaction was always the same – deny, deny, deny.

So during my last few trips to Dubai (to stay with my parents), sneaking out for a cigarette was really difficult.  And it wasn’t just them – it was V as well.  I didn’t want to smoke in front of him.

Usually, when I’m here without LagosDad (he only comes for part of the time) it’s more difficult.  I spend all day with my mum.  And even if we weren’t together for a few minutes here or there – I didn’t want her to smell smoke on me!

It actually became quite stressful.  She would get on my nerves, I’d need a cigarette, I couldn’t have a cigarette, I’d get grumpy, cranky and desperate.

I’d do whatever I could to spend a few hours by myself (almost impossible), just so I could have a cigarette.

Every evening I would beg my sister to come out for a drink, just so I could have a cigarette or four.  Sometimes I wouldn’t even want to go out – but I made myself!

I know it sounds silly – a grown woman having to go through all this just to have a cigarette – but it’s just what happened.  And as I said before – it was stressful!

I’m in Dubai at the moment, and you know what?

I don’t have any of those issues anymore.

It is such a relief not to have the added stress of trying to get away from everyone to smoke!