There are (identical) twin boys in playgroup – about four or five years old. They are a *real* handful and it must be very difficult for their mum to manage them, which is why I was reluctant to write this post. I didn’t want to judge. You know – putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, not knowing their circumstances, etc.
BUT… I have to.
Those two boys are a complete and utter nightmare!
They can regularly be seen on the ride-ons bashing into eachother, picking up the ride-ons and throwing them at each other, throwing toys, games and books *everywhere*, being rough and generally causing havoc wherever they are.
A couple of months ago, one of them was playing with the ironing board and iron; and V went up to him to look at what he was doing. He got pushed over. I didn’t say anything to anyone. Vinay wasn’t hurt.
Today one of V’s friends was sitting in a Little Tikes ride-on (and V was in another nearby). V’s friend wasn’t moving – just sitting there, and out of nowhere BAM! one of the twins had smashed into the front of his car. Poor child didn’t cry, but was a bit shocked. I ran over and said, ‘Please be careful!’ The twin’s mum appeared and had words with him (in a different language, I didn’t understand). He was, meanwhile, eyeing up V in his car. He was ready to take-off in Vinay’s direction as soon as his mum turned around. He caught me glaring (I’ve been told I’m very good at giving the evil eye) at him and went off and did something else.
A little while later, V was walking around (deciding what to do) and (again) out of nowhere one of the little buggers on a ride-on motorcycle was speeding towards him. He saw me running towards Vinay and stopped *JUST* before he made contact. His mum was watching. She said nothing.
People have had words with the mum about the twins’ behaviour. And they’ve complained to the committee. It’s all been very ‘hush hush’. But nothing has been done… And the mum (as far as I have seen) does not discipline them.
I am not blaming the mum for her children’s behaviour. It can’t be easy to watch them both at the same time. Well all know that it’s difficult to watch just one child at all times. But I just feel that she needs to be a little more… Pro-active. Especially when there are much younger children, who can’t necessarily defend themselves, around.
Children have been subjected to being bitten, hit, pushed and generally terrorised by one or both of these boys (I don’t know which one’s which).
And I don’t know about other parents, but I tend to keep Vinay out of their way (which isn’t always possible, of course).
Today was a close-call for Vinay – he could have been quite badly hurt.
It was also a VERY close-call for those little sh*ts, because if V had been hurt – I promise I would not just have a quiet word with the mum or the committee.
This is not your usual not sharing, toy-snatching behaviour.
Someone please tell me I’m not over-reacting?
The Diary of a Lagos Mum 
I think it’s more the Mother’s general attitude that’s the problem here and what is probably most frustrating! Most little boys will probably go through a rough, aggressive stage at some point I know mine did! It seemed to happen overnight. One day he was my sweet little boy and the next he had turned into an aggressive boy who would push and bite and hit. I was absolutely mortified. Most days I would leave the Playgroup or wherever we were because I couldn’t handle it anymore. Saying that though I was always extremely apologetic to both the Mum and child, I removed my Son from the area and gave him time out. If he did it again we were out of there. It was an extremely hard time as he would fight with my best friend’s Son which made me feel awful so I stopped hanging around her for a while. Once I got consistent with the discipline he soon learnt he didn’t get to play if he hurt someone and he stopped. I have to say those Mums that were kind and understanding really made me feel better rather than then ones that abused me! From what you’ve said though this Mum doesn’t seem to be disciplining them which isn’t going to stop their behaviour which sounds quite dangerous. If she’s not looking at what her kids are doing then everyone else will have to so an accident doesn’t happen! I would talk to the organiser or the Mum, nicely if she understands English! Xx
It’s never easy to 100% watch one child, let alone 2 iduring these play groups/soft play, etc. but the mum does need to discipline her kids if they are being destructive and potentially hurting another child. I know kids will be kids, the mother needs to be more quick off the mark, because mark my words, she would get cross if someone hurt her child!
You are definitely not over-reacting! I have left many playgroups because I could stand by an watch mums chatting away, while their offspring were causing havoc. urs, kids get aggressive, especially little boys at different stages, but it is the parents’ responsibility to manage this!
I know V will not always be a pushover – he’s already learning to get what he wants. And I realise that he will one day be all rough and tumble. But you’re all right – it’s the mum’s attitude that is the most irritating thing! She should step-in and take control when necessary… This mum doesn’t even bat an eyelid. Maybe she’s fed-up of trying to discipline them?Thanks for your comments ladies.xx
You are not over-reacting; she should be intervening and discipling her children! I’d be complaining to the committee if I was you.
I would be exactly like you! Why should everyone else suffer because 2 kids don’t know how to play? I can never be polite and shut my mouth, I actually tend to speak out quite a lot and find that often I get lots of people who would too supporting me. Don’t wait for an accident to happen, get in there now! If anyone was to touch Miss G like that I would go mental…ROARRRR!
OMG! i would be just like you and to be honest, the impulsive reactions that I have, I would’ve already had a word or two with that mum. That is so not right. Yes, it must be tough for her with two but that doesn’t mean she should not discipline her children. Do speak to someone anyway, like the play group superviser or someone.xx
Hi DiaI don’t think you are over reaction at all. The mum in question may have become a little complacent about the twins behaviours becaus she is at her wits end herself and maybe a quiet word would help her to see tha she needs to step up their discipline a tad. She may even appreciate someone talking to er so she herself can discuss them with somene? If their behaviour is becoming dangerous to others then you should speak up before something does happen. You are a teacher – if this was happening in yor classroom what would you do? You would approach the parents and have a quiet word. It’s the same thing really Good luck whatever you decide xx
I actually think this mother must shoulder a large part of the responsibility here. She is clearly not setting boundaries with her children.
YOu’re not over reacting – it is normal to feel like that. However they are just children, who need to be guided, and I think the mother has to deal with that, before her kids do something worse as they get older. I used to feel badly towards difficult children until I was in a classroom with them, and at that age they are just kids, just learning, not horrible at all. The Mother absolutely has to get a grip on them and teach them the right way is all.