I was chatting with a friend (via BB) on Friday evening – it was his last night as a single man and he was feeling a bit excited and nervous about the ‘Big Day’.
I can’t remember how it came up, but I told him that once the wedding is over, everyone will start bothering him and his wife (his wife more) about when they’re going to have a baby. He is expecting this and is kind of (I think) mentally prepared to fend people off. Although this is difficult when it’s an ‘elder’ in your family.
(One of Hub’s aunts told me that she hoped to hear ‘good news’ after our honeymoon!)
Soon-to-be-married-friend asked me if that line of questioning and badgering continues even after you have your first child.
My response: Fecking hell – YES.
People were asking me after three months if we were planning a second child!
An aunt has said (on more than one occasion), ‘Well, if you’re not working – you may as well get it over and done with.’ I smiled politely and muttered something about not being ready yet. But what I WANTED to say shout was, ‘F*ck off! It’s really none of your business! Go and worry about whether your own children are having babies.’ (Yes, I was angry)
Insensitive ‘friend’ has said (more than once), ‘Don’t you think it’s time for a second?’ With the sole intention of winding me up (I’m sorry to say he succeeded).
Yes, yes – We *will* have another child (God willing). Maybe even two (Hub doesn’t know that yet)! I realise I’m not getting any younger (34 next year), and we kind of have to start thinking/talking about it…
So what’s bothering me?
IS IT ANYONE’S BUSINESS?
Do they seriously have nothing else to talk to me about? Or do they think I have nothing else to talk about? Shouldn’t they think before asking such insensitive questions? What if we are trying (we’re not) and having difficulty?
What’s wrong with enjoying every second I can with the child I already have?
And does it really matter if there’s two or three or more years between the children? There’s five between my sister and I and six between me and my brother. It wasn’t planned that way, but I think it’s worked rather well… Only my parents could tell you.
Anyway, rant over.
What do you think? Should friends and family members be more sensitive when asking such ridiculous questions? Should they be able to ask what they want since they *are* friends and family?