Blessed

I’m done.  I’m done wallowing in self-pity and moping around.  I re-read my last post and cringed.  I was going to delete it, but then decided I wouldn’t.  Because as embarrassing as it was, that’s how I felt at the time.  And what’s the point of writing on here if I don’t admit things like that?

So…  What did it take for me to get over it?  A dose of reality.  Not mine, though.  

First, on Saturday while LagosDad was at work and V was napping, I watched Giuliana and Bill.  Ever seen it?  It’s a reality show if you don’t know it already.  I don’t usually watch it, but there was nothing else on.

I already knew that they were trying to get pregnant and I knew that she’d had a miscarriage and then got breast cancer.

They covered all these things in the episode I watched.  Giuliana had had a mastectomy, and they’d found someone to carry a baby for them after several failed attempts at IVF.

They were thrilled.  They were so thrilled that they were finally going to have a baby, even though she wasn’t carrying it herself.

I cried.  I cried and realised how blessed I actually am.  I have so much to be grateful for.  And yes, it’s a reality TV show, but it seriously put things into perspective for me.

I hadn’t been on Twitter much over the weekend, it’s taken a bit of a backseat for me lately (no reason really).  I signed in last night for the first time on Sunday and was absolutely shocked by what I was seeing.  And that was the second thing that did it for me.

No one should have to lose a child.  No one.  And I am so sorry for Jennie’s loss.  My thoughts and prayers are with her and her family.

I spent the evening in tears, wanting to wake Vinay and hold him.  

While my heart aches for Jennie’s family, I find myself counting my blessings once again.

I will not sit around and think about what I don’t have.  Because then I’ll be missing out on what I *do* have.

I’ve snapped out of it now.  

Life is too precious to wallow and mope, and I have too much to be grateful for.

 

 

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